Crap Towns / Gloucestershire / Tetbury
Tetbury
24/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 24. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
They race up hills with wool sacks
They race up a hill carrying sacks of wool. For fun. Then they go antique shopping.
Tetbury's big day out is racing up Gumstool Hill with a sack of wool on your back. The rest of the time it's antique shops and a lovely old Market House. Nobody misbehaves. The moans are parking permits that don't get you a space and lorries squeezing through streets built for sheep.
The overflows dump sewage for nearly 14 times the typical town's hours, and gigabit's on offer to 61% of premises. There's no bus after 7.26pm and there's nothing at all on a Sunday. Posh as you like.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Tetbury's 99 for sewage spills means it's crapper than 99% of towns.
- Sewage spills99/1003,809 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Broadband99/10039.0% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 27.8% across the Cotswold council area
- Rain64/100136 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Fly-tipping58/10011.0 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Cotswold council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Food hygiene23/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 43 food businesses with a rating
- Air pollution15/1004.3 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.8 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Anti-social behaviour14/1009.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Serious road collisions10/1000.9 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Criminal damage and arson9/1003.9 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires1/1000.5 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 10 | Brockworth | 31 |
| 11 | Yate | 31 |
| 12 | Stoke Gifford | 30 |
| 13 | Churchdown | 24 |
| – | Tetbury | 24 |
| 14 | Frampton Cotterell and Winterbourne | 21 |
| 15 | Bradley Stoke | 6 |
| 16 | Bishop's Cleeve | 6 |
| 17 | Thornbury | 2 |
Tetbury by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 41.4 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 46% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 406 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 629 per 10,000 people, 185x the typical town's 3.4
- 1 serious pollution incident within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2019
What's left on the high street
- 4 pubs, 4 hairdressers, 4 charity shops, 1 bank on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 2 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 3.1 per 10,000 people, 1.9x the typical town's 1.6
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 7.26pm last bus out on a Wednesday, and none on a Sunday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.6% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 20% higher than the typical town's 0.5%
- 17.2% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 11% higher than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,559 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Cotswold council
- £2,392 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: The same as the English average
- 26% of Gloucestershire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 1.6x England's 16%
- 1 ombudsman complaint upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Tetbury against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.