Crap Towns / Gloucestershire / Churchdown
Churchdown
24/100Crap Score
751st crappest of 984 towns, and 13th in Gloucestershire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Station Road, no station
Between Gloucester and Cheltenham, watching the trains go straight through the place where the station used to be.
Churchdown sits between Gloucester and Cheltenham, and the trains between them fly straight through, because the station shut years ago. Station Road is still called that, out of spite. They keep adding houses. Chosen Hill has a cracking view. Of the trains not stopping.
Superfast doesn't reach 5.5% of premises, 11 times the typical town's share, and 116 fall short of even the legal minimum. Nothing stops in Churchdown. Not even the internet.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Churchdown's 67 for food hygiene means it's crapper than 67% of towns.
- Food hygiene67/1004.9% rated 0 to 2, of the 41 food businesses with a rating
- Rain57/100132 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Sewage spills57/100361 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Serious road collisions49/1002.4 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Broadband46/1005.6% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 12.3% across the Tewkesbury council area
- Air pollution42/1007.7 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.5 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Fly-tipping24/1007.0 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Tewkesbury council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Anti-social behaviour22/10010.5 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires5/1001.6 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Criminal damage and arson3/1003.1 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 9 | Cirencester | 36 |
| 10 | Brockworth | 31 |
| 11 | Yate | 31 |
| 12 | Stoke Gifford | 30 |
| 13 | Churchdown | 24 |
| 14 | Frampton Cotterell and Winterbourne | 21 |
| 15 | Bradley Stoke | 6 |
| 16 | Bishop's Cleeve | 6 |
| 17 | Thornbury | 2 |
Churchdown by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 46.7 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 39% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 690 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 512 per 10,000 people, 150.6x the typical town's 3.4
- 1 serious pollution incident within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2023
What's left on the high street
- 3 pubs, 2 hairdressers on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- All night buses on a Wednesday Better: The typical town's last bus goes at 12.14am
- 5.5% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 11x the typical town's 0.5%
- 14.7% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 5% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,562 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Tewkesbury council
- £2,341 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £51 less than the English average
- 26% of Gloucestershire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 1.6x England's 16%
- 1 ombudsman complaint upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Churchdown against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.