Crap Towns / Gloucestershire / Stoke Gifford
Stoke Gifford
30/100Crap Score
Joint 687th crappest of 984 towns, and 12th in Gloucestershire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Village? What village?
Everybody knows the station. Nobody knows there's a village attached.
Stoke Gifford is where Bristol Parkway station is, and that's how everyone describes it. There's a village green buried somewhere in the estates. It's quiet, crime's low and people say it's boring as hell. The parish council once tried to charge for a free Saturday run in the park. Biggest thing that's ever happened.
Gigabit gets to 70% of premises and 3.7% can't even get superfast, which for a place with a mainline station is a bit backward. There are 2 pubs. The buses run all night, which is a lot of buses for somewhere people only come back to sleep.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Stoke Gifford's 96 for broadband means it's crapper than 96% of towns.
- Broadband96/10030.0% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 14.6% across the South Gloucestershire council area
- Air pollution70/10011.5 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.8 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Serious road collisions65/1002.9 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Rain64/100136 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Deliberate fires42/1005.4 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Sewage spills41/100182 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Fly-tipping26/1007.1 incidents per 1,000 people a year, South Gloucestershire council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Food hygiene20/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 51 food businesses with a rating
- Anti-social behaviour19/10010.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Criminal damage and arson9/1003.9 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 8 | Quedgeley and Hardwicke | 37 |
| 9 | Cirencester | 36 |
| 10 | Brockworth | 31 |
| 11 | Yate | 31 |
| 12 | Stoke Gifford | 30 |
| 13 | Churchdown | 24 |
| 14 | Frampton Cotterell and Winterbourne | 21 |
| 15 | Bradley Stoke | 6 |
| 16 | Bishop's Cleeve | 6 |
Stoke Gifford by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 76.0 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 76.2
- 93 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 69.0 per 10,000 people, 20.3x the typical town's 3.4
- 7 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2026
What's left on the high street
- 2 pubs, 5 hairdressers, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1 cash machine closure assessed by LINK
- 2 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Worse: 1.5 per 10,000 people, 6% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 3 public swimming pools open Better: 2.2 per 10,000 people, 3.1x the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- All night buses on a Wednesday Better: The typical town's last bus goes at 12.14am
- 3.7% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 7.4x the typical town's 0.5%
- 6.3% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 59% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,599 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
South Gloucestershire council
- £2,551 Band D council tax (2026-27) Worse: £159 more than the English average
- 9% of South Gloucestershire council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 44% lower than England's 16%
- 12 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Stoke Gifford against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.