Crap Towns / Gloucestershire / Thornbury
Thornbury
2/100Crap Score
965th crappest of 984 towns, and 17th in Gloucestershire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
In bloom, and smug with it
Thornbury wins flower awards and has a Tudor castle. Its big crisis is the High Street.
Thornbury has won Britain in Bloom, has a Tudor castle and is about as tidy as towns get. No vandals, clean rivers, safe roads. The biggest row in town is whether to pedestrianise the High Street, and it's gone on for ages. That and parking charges, and a car park that floods.
The banks have announced 3 branch closures while everyone argues, and the charity shops are at nearly four times the typical town's per head. In bloom, and smug with it.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Thornbury's 65 for broadband means it's crapper than 65% of towns.
- Broadband65/1008.5% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 14.6% across the South Gloucestershire council area
- Rain65/100138 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Air pollution35/1007.5 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.1 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Fly-tipping26/1007.1 incidents per 1,000 people a year, South Gloucestershire council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Anti-social behaviour21/10010.4 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Food hygiene19/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 52 food businesses with a rating
- Deliberate fires17/1003.1 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Criminal damage and arson10/1004.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Serious road collisions8/1001.1 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Sewage spills2/1000.0 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 9 | Cirencester | 36 |
| 10 | Brockworth | 31 |
| 11 | Yate | 31 |
| 12 | Stoke Gifford | 30 |
| 13 | Churchdown | 24 |
| 14 | Frampton Cotterell and Winterbourne | 21 |
| 15 | Bradley Stoke | 6 |
| 16 | Bishop's Cleeve | 6 |
| 17 | Thornbury | 2 |
Thornbury by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 54.3 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 29% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 78 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 53.8 per 10,000 people, 15.8x the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
- 8 pubs, 12 hairdressers, 8 charity shops, 1 bookmaker, 1 bank, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 3 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 20.7 per 100,000 people, 6.1x the typical town's 3.4
- 2 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Worse: 1.4 per 10,000 people, 13% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 3 public swimming pools open Better: 2.1 per 10,000 people, 3x the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.30am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.7% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 40% higher than the typical town's 0.5%
- 2.0% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 87% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,654 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 8% higher than the typical town's 1,532
South Gloucestershire council
- £2,551 Band D council tax (2026-27) Worse: £159 more than the English average
- 9% of South Gloucestershire council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 44% lower than England's 16%
- 12 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Thornbury against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.