Crap Towns / Cornwall / Saltash
Saltash
38/100Crap Score
612th crappest of 984 towns, and 9th in Cornwall. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Enjoy the bridge. You'll be here ages.
Famous bridges over the Tamar, and you'll get a good long look at them from the queue.
Saltash is the Gateway to Cornwall, which means it's where you queue for the Tamar Bridge. Lovely bridges. You'll get a long hard look at them from a car that isn't moving. The tolls go up, the tunnel shuts at night and the works go on for ever.
8.3% of food places get 0 to 2 from the hygiene inspectors, three and a half times the typical town's share, so don't eat while you wait. It rains on 158 days a year. Welcome to Cornwall.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Saltash's 87 for broadband means it's crapper than 87% of towns.
- Broadband87/1008.3% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 34.0% across the Cornwall council area
- Food hygiene86/1008.3% rated 0 to 2, of the 60 food businesses with a rating
- Rain82/100158 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Sewage spills64/100486 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Criminal damage and arson57/1007.6 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires34/1004.6 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Anti-social behaviour32/10012.5 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Serious road collisions16/1001.4 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Fly-tipping16/1005.7 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Cornwall council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Air pollution8/1004.5 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.2 of fine particles, 2024 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 4 | Liskeard | 58 |
| 5 | St Austell | 54 |
| 6 | Newquay | 51 |
| 7 | Falmouth | 46 |
| 8 | Camborne | 42 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.9 | Saltash | 38 |
| 10 | Redruth | 33 |
| 11 | Helston | 25 |
| 12 | Penryn | 24 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Saltash by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 55.3 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 27% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 8 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 5.2 per 10,000 people, 1.5x the typical town's 3.4
- 1 serious pollution incident within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2023
What's left on the high street
- 8 pubs, 2 hairdressers, 5 charity shops, 1 bookmaker, 1 bank on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 3 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 1.9 per 10,000 people, 19% higher than the typical town's 1.6
- 2 public swimming pools open Better: 1.3 per 10,000 people, 1.9x the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.18am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.0% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 2x the typical town's 0.5%
- 14.5% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 6% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,640 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 7% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Cornwall council
Have a crap-off
Saltash against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.