Crap Towns / Cornwall / Penryn
Penryn
24/100Crap Score
750th crappest of 984 towns, and 12th in Cornwall. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Penryn. Full of students' cars.
A granite port older than Falmouth, now mostly parking for the university.
Penryn was a busy port before Falmouth existed, and it'll tell you. It shipped granite all over the country. Now it's the town next to the university, students' cars fill every narrow street, and the new housing goes up for students, not locals.
For the town next to a university, superfast doesn't reach 9.1% of premises, over 18 times the typical town's share. The storm overflows go off for over six times the typical town's hours. Crime's low. Falmouth still came later.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Penryn's 99 for broadband means it's crapper than 99% of towns.
- Broadband99/10036.2% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 34.0% across the Cornwall council area
- Sewage spills92/1001,746 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Rain85/100162 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Deliberate fires53/1005.9 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Food hygiene44/1002.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 49 food businesses with a rating
- Criminal damage and arson39/1006.3 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Fly-tipping16/1005.7 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Cornwall council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Anti-social behaviour14/1008.9 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Air pollution9/1004.1 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.3 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Serious road collisions1/1000.5 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 4 | Liskeard | 58 |
| 5 | St Austell | 54 |
| 6 | Newquay | 51 |
| 7 | Falmouth | 46 |
| 8 | Camborne | 42 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.9 | Saltash | 38 |
| 10 | Redruth | 33 |
| 11 | Helston | 25 |
| 12 | Penryn | 24 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Penryn by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 46.1 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 40% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 1 reports of broken street lights on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 0.9 per 10,000 people, 29% higher than the typical town's 0.7
- 3 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2024
What's left on the high street
- 4 pubs, 4 hairdressers, 3 charity shops on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 2 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 1.8 per 10,000 people, 13% higher than the typical town's 1.6
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
- 1 place on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.15am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 9.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 18.2x the typical town's 0.5%
- 0.0% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: Against the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,608 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Cornwall council
Have a crap-off
Penryn against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.