Crap Towns / Cornwall / St Austell
St Austell
54/100Crap Score
Known as Snozzle. Also St Austhell.
457th crappest of 984 towns, and 5th in Cornwall. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about St Austell? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
The beach is elsewhere.
China clay tips, a knackered town centre, and everyone off to the beach.
St Austell is china clay country, all white tips and old quarries. People only stay here to go to the Eden Project and the beaches, which tells you all you need to know. The White River redevelopment took the old centre's character and still ended up with empty shops.
It rains on 167 days a year, the banks have announced 4 branch closures, and even the Market House is on the Heritage at Risk list. The roads are jammed and there's nothing to do. Locals call it St Awful.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
St Austell's 98 for broadband means it's crapper than 98% of towns.
- Broadband98/10027.6% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 34.0% across the Cornwall council area
- Rain90/100167 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Sewage spills82/100934 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Criminal damage and arson81/1009.9 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Anti-social behaviour72/10018.9 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Food hygiene45/1002.2% rated 0 to 2, of the 135 food businesses with a rating
- Deliberate fires35/1004.8 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Serious road collisions24/1001.7 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Fly-tipping16/1005.7 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Cornwall council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Air pollution10/1004.1 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.4 of fine particles, 2024 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Truro | 76 |
| 2 | Penzance | 71 |
| 3 | Bodmin | 60 |
| 4 | Liskeard | 58 |
| 5 | St Austell | 54 |
| 6 | Newquay | 51 |
| 7 | Falmouth | 46 |
| 8 | Camborne | 42 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.9 | Saltash | 38 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
St Austell by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 89.8 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 18% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 4 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 1.6 per 10,000 people, 53% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 2 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2021
- 5 of 5 bathing waters here or within 2 km rated Excellent in 2025
What's left on the high street
- 10 pubs, 24 hairdressers, 7 charity shops, 2 bookmakers, 2 vape shops, 3 banks on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 10.5% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (2 of 19) Worse: 2.6x the typical town's 4.0%
- 4 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 16.4 per 100,000 people, 4.8x the typical town's 3.4
- 5 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 2.1 per 10,000 people, 31% higher than the typical town's 1.6
- 2 public swimming pools open Better: 0.8 per 10,000 people, 14% higher than the typical English town's 0.7
- 2 places on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.46pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 3.4% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 6.8x the typical town's 0.5%
- 10.7% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 31% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,629 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 6% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Cornwall council
Have a crap-off
St Austell against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.