Crap Towns / Cornwall / St Blazey
St Blazey
20/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 20. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
St Blazey. Flooded again.
St Blazey has a working railway turntable. And a football pitch that keeps flooding.
St Blazey has a proper old railway roundhouse with a turntable that still works, and a football ground that keeps going under water. The whole town floods, the roads shut and the drains can't cope. Then the lads come flying down Station Road and Middleway through the puddles.
It chucks it down on 166 days a year on a town built on an old estuary, so the flooding's not exactly a mystery. Other than that, it's annoyingly well behaved.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
St Blazey's 93 for broadband means it's crapper than 93% of towns.
- Broadband93/10016.7% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 34.0% across the Cornwall council area
- Rain89/100166 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Deliberate fires65/1008.4 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Serious road collisions59/1002.7 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Criminal damage and arson47/1006.8 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Sewage spills24/10055.1 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Food hygiene17/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 58 food businesses with a rating
- Fly-tipping16/1005.7 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Cornwall council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Anti-social behaviour7/1007.7 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Air pollution7/1003.6 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.2 of fine particles, 2024 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 5 | St Austell | 54 |
| 6 | Newquay | 51 |
| 7 | Falmouth | 46 |
| 8 | Camborne | 42 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.9 | Saltash | 38 |
| 10 | Redruth | 33 |
| 11 | Helston | 25 |
| 12 | Penryn | 24 |
| – | St Blazey | 20 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
St Blazey by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 59.1 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 22% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 1 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 1.5 per 10,000 people, 56% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 3 of 4 bathing waters here or within 2 km rated Excellent in 2025
What's left on the high street
- 2 pubs, 2 hairdressers, 1 charity shop on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 0.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (0 of 15) Better: Against the typical town's 4.0%
- 3 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 4.6 per 10,000 people, 2.9x the typical town's 1.6
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.39pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.6% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 20% higher than the typical town's 0.5%
- 5.4% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 65% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,646 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 7% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Cornwall council
Have a crap-off
St Blazey against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.