Crap Towns / Cornwall / Liskeard
Liskeard
58/100Crap Score
416th crappest of 984 towns, and 4th in Cornwall. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Liskeard. Smells of weed.
Lovely old Victorian shopfronts. Look through the glass and there's nowt behind them.
Liskeard has lovely Victorian shopfronts and fewer useful shops behind them every year. The cattle market's gone, the town centre is litter and neglect, and there's a smell of weed hanging round the middle of town. The shoplifters are busy and so are the vandals.
There's rain on 172 days a year, and superfast doesn't reach 5.6% of premises, over 11 times the typical town's share. The best thing here is the little train to Looe. Take it.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Liskeard's 93 for rain means it's crapper than 93% of towns.
- Rain93/100172 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Criminal damage and arson92/10011.9 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Broadband90/10011.9% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 34.0% across the Cornwall council area
- Sewage spills79/100829 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Anti-social behaviour76/10020.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires44/1005.5 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Food hygiene38/1001.6% rated 0 to 2, of the 63 food businesses with a rating
- Serious road collisions31/1001.8 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Fly-tipping16/1005.7 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Cornwall council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Air pollution6/1003.4 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.1 of fine particles, 2024 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Truro | 76 |
| 2 | Penzance | 71 |
| 3 | Bodmin | 60 |
| 4 | Liskeard | 58 |
| 5 | St Austell | 54 |
| 6 | Newquay | 51 |
| 7 | Falmouth | 46 |
| 8 | Camborne | 42 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.9 | Saltash | 38 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Liskeard by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 99.7 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 31% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 3 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 2.8 per 10,000 people, 18% lower than the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
- 5 pubs, 3 hairdressers, 2 banks on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 6 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 5.5 per 10,000 people, 3.4x the typical town's 1.6
- 2 public swimming pools open Better: 1.8 per 10,000 people, 2.6x the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.49am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 5.6% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 11.2x the typical town's 0.5%
- 3.8% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 75% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,593 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Cornwall council
Have a crap-off
Liskeard against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.