Crap Towns / East Riding of Yorkshire / Market Weighton
Market Weighton
7/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 7. Higher scores are crapper.
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Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
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Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Boots on. Train's gone.
Lovely walks into the Wolds. Which is lucky, because there's no train out.
Market Weighton is a nice little Wolds town where nothing happens. The railway shut years ago, so you walk along where it used to be or wait for a bus. The teenagers get bored and loud, and that's about the crime wave.
Hardly anybody crashes, fly-tips or kicks off, and everyone lives within 400 metres of a park. Smug little place. The one blot is the sewage. The storm overflows nearby spill for over eight times as long as the typical town's, so the Wolds aren't as clean as the walkers think.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Market Weighton's 95 for sewage spills means it's crapper than 95% of towns.
- Sewage spills95/1002,299 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Food hygiene52/1002.7% rated 0 to 2, of the 37 food businesses with a rating
- Rain47/100126 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Deliberate fires42/1005.3 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Criminal damage and arson22/1005.1 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Air pollution19/1004.8 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.2 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Anti-social behaviour10/1005.5 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Broadband8/1001.2% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 5.5% across the East Riding of Yorkshire council area
- Serious road collisions3/1000.5 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Fly-tipping3/1003.2 incidents per 1,000 people a year, East Riding of Yorkshire council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 3 | Bridlington | 20 |
| 4 | Cottingham | 12 |
| 5 | Hessle | 12 |
| 6 | Pocklington | 11 |
| 7 | Willerby and Anlaby | 9 |
| 8 | Driffield | 9 |
| 9 | Beverley | 7 |
| – | Market Weighton | 7 |
| 10 | Brough | 3 |
Market Weighton by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 46.1 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 40% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 1 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 1.3 per 10,000 people, 62% lower than the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
- 5 pubs, 1 bank on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1 banking hub opened here
- 1 public toilet on the map (October 2026) Worse: 1.3 per 10,000 people, 19% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.18am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.0% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 2x the typical town's 0.5%
- 0.0% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: Against the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,512 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
East Riding of Yorkshire council
- £2,466 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £74 more than the English average
- 15% of East Riding of Yorkshire council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 6% lower than England's 16%
- 12 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Market Weighton against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.