Crap Towns / Somerset / Long Ashton
Long Ashton
5/100Crap Score
Known as LA.
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 5. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Definitely not Bristol, all right?
A long village on the edge of Bristol that would like you to know it's not Bristol.
Long Ashton is a very long village right on the edge of Bristol that insists it's nothing to do with Bristol. Locals call it LA, which is funny once. It's safe, clean and has no trouble to speak of. The only grief is sitting in traffic trying to get into Bristol every morning, which seems a lot of effort for somewhere you're not part of.
There's no park on the map and no public swimming pool, and superfast doesn't reach 3.7% of premises, over seven times the typical town's share. Bristol's handy for all that. Don't tell LA.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Long Ashton's 65 for rain means it's crapper than 65% of towns.
- Rain65/100138 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Food hygiene60/1005.3% rated 0 to 2, of the 19 food businesses with a rating
- Broadband41/1005.0% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 10.6% across the North Somerset council area
- Fly-tipping38/1009.1 incidents per 1,000 people a year, North Somerset council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Air pollution32/1007.4 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.9 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Serious road collisions18/1001.3 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Deliberate fires16/1002.4 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Criminal damage and arson10/1004.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Anti-social behaviour5/1006.7 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Sewage spills2/1000.0 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 10 | Frome | 31 |
| 11 | Wellington | 27 |
| 12 | Street | 17 |
| 13 | Portishead | 16 |
| 14 | Wells | 15 |
| 15 | Burnham-on-Sea | 11 |
| – | Long Ashton | 5 |
| 16 | Clevedon | 3 |
| 17 | Nailsea | 1 |
Long Ashton by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 45.4 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 40% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 1 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 1.9 per 10,000 people, 44% lower than the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
- 3 pubs, 2 hairdressers, 1 charity shop on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.18am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 3.7% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 7.4x the typical town's 0.5%
- 47.6% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space, and OS maps no public park here Worse: 3.1x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,642 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 7% higher than the typical town's 1,532
North Somerset council
- £2,491 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £99 more than the English average
- 4% of North Somerset council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 75% lower than England's 16%
- 7 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Long Ashton against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.