Crap Towns / Somerset / Wells
Wells
15/100Crap Score
832nd crappest of 984 towns, and 14th in Somerset. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Stop quoting Hot Fuzz.
A tiny posh city where the swans ring a bell for food and every visitor quotes the same film.
Wells is medieval streets, a market place, Greggs, pubs and swans that ring a bell when they want feeding. It's annoyingly lovely. They filmed Hot Fuzz here, and every visitor quotes it at the locals until they want to scream. There's no railway station and the gutters in the street are open and slippery. Mind your step.
There are over five times the typical town's public bogs per head and two and a half times its pubs, so it's well set up for a quiet pint and a wee. The last bus is at 1.37am, which for Wells is decadent.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Wells's 95 for broadband means it's crapper than 95% of towns.
- Broadband95/10023.8% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 24.3% across the Somerset council area
- Rain68/100142 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Sewage spills56/100352 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Criminal damage and arson38/1006.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires37/1004.9 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Anti-social behaviour24/10011.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Serious road collisions24/1001.7 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Fly-tipping19/1006.2 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Somerset council area, 2023-24 to 2024-25
- Air pollution14/1005.1 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.5 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Food hygiene10/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 77 food businesses with a rating
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 9 | Minehead | 33 |
| 10 | Frome | 31 |
| 11 | Wellington | 27 |
| 12 | Street | 17 |
| 13 | Portishead | 16 |
| 14 | Wells | 15 |
| 15 | Burnham-on-Sea | 11 |
| 16 | Clevedon | 3 |
| 17 | Nailsea | 1 |
Wells by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 77.5 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 76.2
- 2 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 1.7 per 10,000 people, 50% lower than the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
- 15 pubs, 3 hairdressers, 1 charity shop, 1 bookmaker, 3 banks, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 2 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 16.5 per 100,000 people, 4.9x the typical town's 3.4
- 10 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 8.3 per 10,000 people, 5.2x the typical town's 1.6
- 2 public swimming pools open Better: 1.7 per 10,000 people, 2.4x the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 1.37am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.0% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 2x the typical town's 0.5%
- 12.1% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 22% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,546 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Somerset council
Have a crap-off
Wells against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.