Crap Towns / Somerset / Shepton Mallet
Shepton Mallet
35/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 35. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Shepton Mallet. Shit and Smell It.
Locals call it Shit and Smell It. The sewage spills back them up.
Shepton Mallet gave the world Babycham and has an old prison you can go ghost hunting in. The High Street has empty shops, because everyone's gone to the retail park. Parking costs, so people park in the streets.
Locals call it Shit and Smell It, and with sewage going in the water for over six times the typical town's hours, that's not just a rhyme. Even the old Anglo-Bavarian Brewery is on the Heritage at Risk list.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Shepton Mallet's 96 for broadband means it's crapper than 96% of towns.
- Broadband96/10025.7% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 24.3% across the Somerset council area
- Sewage spills91/1001,689 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Rain72/100148 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Serious road collisions39/1002.1 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Anti-social behaviour36/10012.8 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Criminal damage and arson35/1006.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires29/1004.1 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Food hygiene21/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 50 food businesses with a rating
- Air pollution19/1005.6 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.8 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Fly-tipping19/1006.2 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Somerset council area, 2023-24 to 2024-25
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 4 | Keynsham | 51 |
| 5 | Weston-super-Mare | 51 |
| 6 | Midsomer Norton | 41 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.7 | Chard | 38 |
| – | Shepton Mallet | 35 |
| 8 | Yeovil | 34 |
| 9 | Minehead | 33 |
| 10 | Frome | 31 |
| 11 | Wellington | 27 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Shepton Mallet by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 78.5 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 76.2
- 3 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 3.1 per 10,000 people, 9% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 5 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2024
What's left on the high street
- 9 pubs, 1 charity shop, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Worse: 10.4 per 100,000 people, 3.1x the typical town's 3.4
- 5 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 5.2 per 10,000 people, 3.3x the typical town's 1.6
- 2 public swimming pools open Better: 2.1 per 10,000 people, 3x the typical English town's 0.7
- 1 place on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 9.35pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.6% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 3.2x the typical town's 0.5%
- 25.4% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 1.6x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,547 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Somerset council
Have a crap-off
Shepton Mallet against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.