Crap Towns / Oxfordshire / Kidlington
Kidlington
2/100Crap Score
964th crappest of 984 towns, and 11th in Oxfordshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Kidlington? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Why are tourists here?
Coach tours stop to photograph perfectly ordinary front gardens. Nobody knows why.
Kidlington insists it's a village. It's a town, mate. Coach tours turn up and photograph ordinary front gardens, and the locals have no idea why either. Quiet, safe, clean.
The moans are commuters parking on your street for Oxford Parkway, the green belt going and a football stadium on the way. It's got bookies at nearly three times the typical town's rate per head, which is very village. Not one public park, either. The buses run all night, in case the excitement gets too much.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Kidlington's 58 for broadband means it's crapper than 58% of towns.
- Broadband58/1008.5% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 11.2% across the Cherwell council area
- Food hygiene53/1002.7% rated 0 to 2, of the 73 food businesses with a rating
- Air pollution52/1007.8 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.9 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Fly-tipping25/1007.0 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Cherwell council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Rain23/100118 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Serious road collisions17/1001.4 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Criminal damage and arson11/1004.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Anti-social behaviour7/1005.1 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires6/1001.8 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Sewage spills2/1000.0 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 3 | Witney | 20 |
| 4 | Abingdon-on-Thames | 15 |
| 5 | Didcot | 13 |
| 6 | Bicester | 12 |
| 7 | Henley-on-Thames | 7 |
| 8 | Carterton | 5 |
| 9 | Wantage | 5 |
| 10 | Thame | 5 |
| 11 | Kidlington | 2 |
Kidlington by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 51.0 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 33% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 397 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 271 per 10,000 people, 79.7x the typical town's 3.4
- 2 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2025
What's left on the high street
- 6 pubs, 7 hairdressers, 3 charity shops, 3 bookmakers, 1 bank on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 0.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (0 of 10) Better: Against the typical town's 4.0%
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Worse: 6.8 per 100,000 people, 2x the typical town's 3.4
- 1 public toilet on the map (October 2026) Worse: 0.7 per 10,000 people, 56% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 1 public swimming pool open About the same: 0.7 per 10,000 people, about the same as the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- All night buses on a Wednesday Better: The typical town's last bus goes at 12.14am
- 0.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 80% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 7.0% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space, and OS maps no public park here Better: 55% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,608 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Cherwell council
- £2,583 Band D council tax (2026-27) Worse: £191 more than the English average
- 20% of Oxfordshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 25% higher than England's 16%
- 1 ombudsman complaint upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Kidlington against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.