Crap Towns / Oxfordshire / Abingdon-on-Thames
Abingdon-on-Thames
15/100Crap Score
Known as Stabbingdon.
839th crappest of 984 towns, and 4th in Oxfordshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
They throw buns off the town hall
Big town, no railway station. They chuck buns off the town hall instead.
Every so often Abingdon's great and good climb onto County Hall and lob buns at the crowd below. The best ones get varnished and put in a museum. A museum of buns. It used to be the county town of Berkshire until 1974, when it woke up in Oxfordshire and nobody had asked it. Locals call it Shabbingdon.
They built MGs here once. The factory's gone, and it's a big town with no passenger station, so you get out by bus. Bikes get nicked at over three times the typical town's rate, so cycling out is a gamble too. Barclays, Halifax, Lloyds and NatWest have all shut a branch. It only rains on 112 days a year, which is handy when you're stood outside waiting for a bun.
The castle mound at Fitzharris has ended up on the at-risk register. The buns are fine.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Abingdon-on-Thames's 71 for broadband means it's crapper than 71% of towns.
- Broadband71/1009.8% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 15.6% across the Vale of White Horse council area
- Food hygiene60/1003.2% rated 0 to 2, of the 126 food businesses with a rating
- Air pollution56/1008.4 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.9 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Anti-social behaviour41/1009.3 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Criminal damage and arson39/1006.3 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Sewage spills39/100162 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Serious road collisions24/1001.8 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Deliberate fires9/1002.4 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Rain8/100112 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Fly-tipping3/1003.2 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Vale of White Horse council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Oxford | 62 |
| 2 | Banbury | 48 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.3 | Witney | 20 |
| 4 | Abingdon-on-Thames | 15 |
| 5 | Didcot | 13 |
| 6 | Bicester | 12 |
| 7 | Henley-on-Thames | 7 |
| 8 | Carterton | 5 |
| 9 | Wantage | 5 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Abingdon-on-Thames by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 61.5 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 19% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 864 reports of broken street lights on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 260 per 10,000 people, 371.4x the typical town's 0.7
- 11 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2026
What's left on the high street
- 17 pubs, 17 hairdressers, 5 charity shops, 1 bookmaker, 1 vape shop, 4 banks, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 0.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (0 of 21) Better: Against the typical town's 4.0%
- 4 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 12.1 per 100,000 people, 3.6x the typical town's 3.4
- 3 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Worse: 0.9 per 10,000 people, 44% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 4 public swimming pools open; 2 closed for good since 2010 Better: 1.2 per 10,000 people, 1.7x the typical English town's 0.7
- 1 place on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.31am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.7% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 40% higher than the typical town's 0.5%
- 3.9% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 75% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,595 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Vale of White Horse council
- £2,577 Band D council tax (2026-27) Worse: £185 more than the English average
- 20% of Oxfordshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 25% higher than England's 16%
- 3 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Abingdon-on-Thames against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.