Crap Towns / Oxfordshire / Oxford

Welcome to

Oxford

Dreaming spires. Buses going nowhere.
Twinned with the other place

62/100Crap Score

379th crappest of 984 towns, and the crappest in Oxfordshire. Higher scores are crapper.

How the score works

Have your say

Crap Town of the Year 2026/27

See the race

The public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.

Letters from the locals

Got something to say about Oxford? Write in.

Oxford. The bus hasn't moved.

Spires, colleges, tour groups blocking the pavement and a bus that hasn't moved for ages.

Oxford's gorgeous and costs a fortune to live in. The buses crawl, the traffic filters cause a punch-up every week and tour groups stand in the middle of the pavement photographing a wall. Students and locals live in different worlds. Cambridge is the other place. Swindon is the one thing both of them agree on.

Bikes get nicked at over twelve times the typical town's rate, so the only thing moving faster than the buses is your bike, without you on it. And for all the brains in the place, fly-tipping in the council area runs at two and a half times the typical council's. It's the crappest in Oxfordshire. Banbury will be thrilled.

What the score is made of

Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.

Oxford's 92 for broadband means it's crapper than 92% of towns.

  • Broadband92/10021.4% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 20.6% across the Oxford council area
  • Fly-tipping90/10027.5 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Oxford council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
  • Serious road collisions76/1003.2 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
  • Air pollution69/1009.8 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.1 of fine particles, 2024 average
  • Criminal damage and arson42/1006.5 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
  • Deliberate fires36/1005.0 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
  • Anti-social behaviour35/1008.5 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
  • Sewage spills35/100128 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
  • Food hygiene32/1002.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 1,175 food businesses with a rating
  • Rain16/100116 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
Your patch: OxfordshireTowns in the same county. Top of the table is crappest.
PosTownNationalScore
1Oxford379th62
2Banbury512th48
In danger of becoming nice from here down.3Witney792nd20
4Abingdon-on-Thames839th15
5Didcot856th13
6Bicester869th12
7Henley-on-Thames911th7
8Carterton931st5
9Wantage932nd5

Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.

Oxford by numbers

Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.

Crime, muck and dodgy water

What's left on the high street

Getting about, getting online, getting rained on

Oxford council

Have a crap-off

Oxford against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.

OxfordCrap Score 62
v
KidlingtonCrap Score 2

Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.