Crap Towns / Oxfordshire / Eynsham
Eynsham
8/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 8. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Eynsham? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Have your change ready.
You pay to cross the bridge to get in. Then you queue to pay. Then the bridge shuts.
Eynsham? Nice village, loads of pubs, no trouble. The catch is you pay a bloke at a toll bridge to get in, sit in a queue to do it on a road that's falling apart, and every so often they shut the bridge anyway. Once a year they push decorated prams round the pubs. That's the big night. Honestly.
Eynshamites have 7 pubs, nearly three times the typical town's per head, and no public park, so the pub is the park. The Morris men are out whenever there's an excuse. It's that sort of place.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Eynsham's 67 for broadband means it's crapper than 67% of towns.
- Broadband67/10012.8% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 7.4% across the West Oxfordshire council area
- Serious road collisions50/1002.4 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Fly-tipping40/1009.5 incidents per 1,000 people a year, West Oxfordshire council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Air pollution35/1006.4 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.7 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Food hygiene29/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 30 food businesses with a rating
- Deliberate fires28/1003.6 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Rain18/100117 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Criminal damage and arson15/1004.6 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Anti-social behaviour12/1005.8 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Sewage spills2/1000.0 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 3 | Witney | 20 |
| 4 | Abingdon-on-Thames | 15 |
| 5 | Didcot | 13 |
| 6 | Bicester | 12 |
| – | Eynsham | 8 |
| 7 | Henley-on-Thames | 7 |
| 8 | Carterton | 5 |
| 9 | Wantage | 5 |
| 10 | Thame | 5 |
Eynsham by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 39.2 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 49% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 336 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 631 per 10,000 people, 185.6x the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
- 7 pubs, 3 hairdressers, 1 charity shop on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1 public toilet on the map (October 2026) Better: 1.9 per 10,000 people, 19% higher than the typical town's 1.6
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.44am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.8% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 1.6x the typical town's 0.5%
- 11.8% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space, and OS maps no public park here Better: 24% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,626 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 6% higher than the typical town's 1,532
West Oxfordshire council
- £2,567 Band D council tax (2026-27) Worse: £175 more than the English average
- 20% of Oxfordshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 25% higher than England's 16%
- 1 ombudsman complaint upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Eynsham against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.