Crap Towns / Oxfordshire / Thame
Thame
5/100Crap Score
935th crappest of 984 towns, and 10th in Oxfordshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Nothing happens. At all.
A posh market town off the telly, mostly congratulating itself on the High Street.
Thame's a pretty market town with a wide High Street and old buildings, and it's been on Midsomer Murders loads. In real life nothing happens. Nothing. No crime to speak of, no fly-tipping, hardly a crash. The only drama is who's parked where.
The banks have spotted it. HSBC, Lloyds and NatWest have each shut a branch, nearly seven times the typical town's rate for a place this size. The storm overflows spilled for 2.4 times as long as the typical town's. They don't show that bit on the telly.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Thame's 72 for sewage spills means it's crapper than 72% of towns.
- Sewage spills72/100646 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Broadband63/1006.7% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 17.2% across the South Oxfordshire council area
- Air pollution40/1006.6 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.8 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Food hygiene37/1001.6% rated 0 to 2, of the 64 food businesses with a rating
- Rain25/100119 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Deliberate fires15/1002.8 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Criminal damage and arson13/1004.3 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Fly-tipping13/1005.1 incidents per 1,000 people a year, South Oxfordshire council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Anti-social behaviour9/1005.3 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Serious road collisions8/1001.1 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 3 | Witney | 20 |
| 4 | Abingdon-on-Thames | 15 |
| 5 | Didcot | 13 |
| 6 | Bicester | 12 |
| 7 | Henley-on-Thames | 7 |
| 8 | Carterton | 5 |
| 9 | Wantage | 5 |
| 10 | Thame | 5 |
| 11 | Kidlington | 2 |
Thame by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 45.4 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 40% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 441 reports of broken street lights on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 341 per 10,000 people, 487.1x the typical town's 0.7
- 1 serious pollution incident within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2024
What's left on the high street
- 9 pubs, 4 hairdressers, 3 charity shops, 1 bookmaker, 1 bank on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 0.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (0 of 10) Better: Against the typical town's 4.0%
- 3 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 23.2 per 100,000 people, 6.8x the typical town's 3.4
- 3 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 2.3 per 10,000 people, 44% higher than the typical town's 1.6
- 2 public swimming pools open Better: 1.5 per 10,000 people, 2.1x the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.01am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.2% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 60% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 7.4% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 52% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,541 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
South Oxfordshire council
- £2,598 Band D council tax (2026-27) Worse: £206 more than the English average
- 20% of Oxfordshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 25% higher than England's 16%
- 1 ombudsman complaint upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Thame against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.