Crap Towns / Derbyshire / Ilkeston
Ilkeston
43/100Crap Score
Locals call it Ilson.
557th crappest of 984 towns, and 11th in Derbyshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Ilkeston. Come and see the hole.
Famous for a hole in a bank wall. That's genuinely it.
Ilkeston's big tourist attraction is a hole in a wall outside a bank on Bath Street. A hole. People go mental if anyone tries to fill it in. There's also a roundabout full of gnomes and the Charter Fair once a year. The rest is shuttered shops, litter and hairdressers, at nearly three times the typical town's rate per head.
The hole is the calmest thing in Ilson. Violence, public order offences and criminal damage all run well above the typical town's, and the open ground gets set alight for fun. The sewers spill for 3.5 times as long as the typical town's. But the hole's still there.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Ilkeston's 82 for sewage spills means it's crapper than 82% of towns.
- Sewage spills82/100957 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Air pollution80/10010.8 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.3 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Criminal damage and arson80/1009.9 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Anti-social behaviour77/10020.3 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires72/1009.7 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Rain40/100124 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Serious road collisions37/1002.1 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Food hygiene19/1001.3% rated 0 to 2, of the 230 food businesses with a rating
- Broadband4/1001.4% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 3.9% across the Erewash council area
- Fly-tipping1/1002.2 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Erewash council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 7 | Matlock | 59 |
| 8 | South Normanton and Pinxton | 50 |
| 9 | Ripley | 47 |
| 10 | Somercotes and Swanwick | 47 |
| 11 | Ilkeston | 43 |
| 12 | Buxton | 42 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.13 | Hadfield | 36 |
| 14 | Long Eaton | 33 |
| 15 | Brimington | 22 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Ilkeston by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 108 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 42% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 176 reports of fly-tipping on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 45.4 per 10,000 people, 41.3x the typical town's 1.1
What's left on the high street
- 25 pubs, 50 hairdressers, 8 charity shops, 3 bookmakers, 2 vape shops, 4 banks, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 7.3% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (3 of 41) Worse: 1.8x the typical town's 4.0%
- 2 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 5.2 per 100,000 people, 1.5x the typical town's 3.4
- 8 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 2.1 per 10,000 people, 31% higher than the typical town's 1.6
- 3 public swimming pools open Better: 0.8 per 10,000 people, 14% higher than the typical English town's 0.7
- 2 places on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.56am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 80% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 10.0% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 35% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,498 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Erewash council
- £2,361 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £31 less than the English average
- 15% of Derbyshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 6% lower than England's 16%
- None ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Ilkeston against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.