Crap Towns / Greater London / Hounslow
Hounslow
89/100Crap Score
114th crappest of 984 towns, and 15th in Greater London. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Sorry, what? There was a plane.
Planes over your roof all day and the M4 on stilts through Brentford. Locals reckon they don't notice either.
Hounslow Heath was famous for highwaymen. Now it's famous for the flight path into Heathrow. Locals stop hearing the planes after a while, which is just as well. Brentford finally got into the Premier League and the M4 still goes over their heads on stilts. Chiswick has the nice houses and pretends it lives somewhere else.
The fly-tippers have the run of it. The council logged 90.9 incidents per 1,000 people a year, more than eight times the typical council, most of it dumped along the footpaths. Chiswick House and Syon Park are lovely. Walk there and you'll pass a sofa.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Hounslow's 99 for fly-tipping means it's crapper than 99% of towns.
- Fly-tipping99/10090.9 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Hounslow council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Air pollution98/10018.1 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 8.6 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Serious road collisions95/1004.5 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Anti-social behaviour87/10024.5 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Food hygiene73/1003.4% rated 0 to 2, of the 1,569 food businesses with a rating
- Broadband53/1008.6% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 8.6% across the Hounslow council area
- Criminal damage and arson46/1006.7 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires44/100
- Sewage spills13/10016.4 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Rain7/100112 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 11 | Ealing | 90 |
| 12 | Newham | 90 |
| 13 | Southwark | 89 |
| 14 | Hammersmith and Fulham | 89 |
| 15 | Hounslow | 89 |
| 16 | Enfield | 88 |
| 17 | Lewisham | 87 |
| 18 | Greenwich | 85 |
| 19 | Islington | 84 |
Hounslow by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 91.4 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 20% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 17,778 reports of fly-tipping on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 617 per 10,000 people, 560.9x the typical town's 1.1
- 18 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2026
What's left on the high street
- 73 pubs, 85 hairdressers, 17 charity shops, 26 bookmakers, 5 vape shops, 13 banks, 10 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 7.5% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (15 of 199) Worse: 1.9x the typical town's 4.0%
- 10 bank branch closures announced since 2022 About the same: 3.5 per 100,000 people, about the same as the typical town's 3.4
- 120 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 4.2 per 10,000 people, 2.6x the typical town's 1.6
- 21 public swimming pools open; 2 closed for good since 2010 About the same: 0.7 per 10,000 people, about the same as the typical English town's 0.7
- 31 places on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.49am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.6% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 3.2x the typical town's 0.5%
- 14.3% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 8% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,674 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 9% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Hounslow council
Have a crap-off
Hounslow against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.