Crap Towns / Greater London / Ealing
Ealing
90/100Crap Score
95th crappest of 984 towns, and 11th in Greater London. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
The queen's let herself go.
Ealing still calls itself Queen of the Suburbs, from behind a pile of bin bags outside Broadway station.
Ealing made all those cosy old comedies, and the people round the common still act like they're in one. Queen of the Suburbs, it calls itself. Then you get to Acton, which is roadworks, and the Uxbridge Road, where the bus goes slower than you'd walk.
The queen's kitchens are the real horror. Nearly 15% of the borough's food businesses are rated 0 to 2, more than six times the typical town's share, and so is one takeaway in five. The fly-tippers dump at nearly five times the typical council's rate, the pavement outside Broadway station is sticky whatever the weather, and the air carries twice the typical town's nitrogen dioxide. Very regal.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Ealing's 99 for food hygiene means it's crapper than 99% of towns.
- Food hygiene99/10014.8% rated 0 to 2, of the 2,659 food businesses with a rating
- Fly-tipping98/10050.1 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Ealing council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Air pollution98/10017.5 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 8.7 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Anti-social behaviour94/10030.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Serious road collisions77/1003.2 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Broadband65/10010.6% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 10.6% across the Ealing council area
- Deliberate fires43/100
- Criminal damage and arson31/1005.7 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Rain16/100116 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Sewage spills11/1008.7 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 7 | Hackney | 92 |
| 8 | Brent | 91 |
| 9 | Hillingdon | 91 |
| 10 | Croydon | 91 |
| 11 | Ealing | 90 |
| 12 | Newham | 90 |
| 13 | Southwark | 89 |
| 14 | Hammersmith and Fulham | 89 |
| 15 | Hounslow | 89 |
Ealing by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 87.6 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 15% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 39 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 1.1 per 10,000 people, 68% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 20 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2025
What's left on the high street
- 75 pubs, 137 hairdressers, 19 charity shops, 37 bookmakers, 10 vape shops, 29 banks, 6 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 20.4% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (54 of 265) Worse: 5.1x the typical town's 4.0%
- 8 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Better: 2.2 per 100,000 people, 35% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 37 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Worse: 1.0 per 10,000 people, 38% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 14 public swimming pools open; 7 closed for good since 2010 Worse: 0.4 per 10,000 people, 43% lower than the typical English town's 0.7
- 17 places on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.43am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.7% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 40% higher than the typical town's 0.5%
- 12.9% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 17% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,646 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 7% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Ealing council
Have a crap-off
Ealing against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.