Crap Towns / Greater London / Brent
Brent
91/100Crap Score
88th crappest of 984 towns, and 8th in Greater London. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Brent? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Brent. Nice arch. Smells of piss.
Wembley empties out and leaves Brent with the litter and alleyways that stink of lager.
Brent has the Wembley arch, which you can see from miles off, and it's the only bit that goes on the leaflets. Half the streets get the concerts free through the window. On event nights the whole lot comes out of the stadium and pisses in somebody's front garden on the way to Wembley Park.
Harlesden gets the dumped rubbish, and there's a lot of it: the council logs seven times the typical council's fly-tipping, over 16,000 incidents in a year. The air has more than twice the typical town's nitrogen dioxide, the yobs are out at twice the typical rate and the phone snatchers are having a field day. The new towers keep going up round the stadium, and 2 of the swimming pools that shut aren't coming back.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Brent's 99 for fly-tipping means it's crapper than 99% of towns.
- Fly-tipping99/10076.7 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Brent council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Air pollution98/10017.9 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 8.9 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Anti-social behaviour94/10030.1 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Food hygiene92/1005.4% rated 0 to 2, of the 2,018 food businesses with a rating
- Broadband77/10013.1% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 13.1% across the Brent council area
- Serious road collisions74/1003.1 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Deliberate fires46/100
- Criminal damage and arson35/1006.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Rain18/100116 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Sewage spills15/10020.2 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 4 | Tower Hamlets | 96 |
| 5 | Lambeth | 95 |
| 6 | Haringey | 92 |
| 7 | Hackney | 92 |
| 8 | Brent | 91 |
| 9 | Hillingdon | 91 |
| 10 | Croydon | 91 |
| 11 | Ealing | 90 |
| 12 | Newham | 90 |
Brent by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 94.8 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 24% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 41,874 reports of fly-tipping on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 1,232 per 10,000 people, 1120x the typical town's 1.1
- 22 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2026
What's left on the high street
- 56 pubs, 112 hairdressers, 15 charity shops, 37 bookmakers, 1 vape shop, 19 banks, 3 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 7.3% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (32 of 439) Worse: 1.8x the typical town's 4.0%
- 10 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Better: 2.9 per 100,000 people, 15% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 2 libraries shut for good since 2010: Neasden (2011) and Tokyngton (2011)
- 37 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Worse: 1.1 per 10,000 people, 31% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 9 public swimming pools open; 3 closed for good since 2010 Worse: 0.3 per 10,000 people, 57% lower than the typical English town's 0.7
- 9 places on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.52am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.5% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 3x the typical town's 0.5%
- 15.1% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space About the same: About the same as the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,613 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 5% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Brent council
Have a crap-off
Brent against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.