Crap Towns / Greater London / Haringey
Haringey
92/100Crap Score
81st crappest of 984 towns, and 6th in Greater London. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Haringey? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Stuck in traffic up Muswell Hill.
Crouch End reckons it's a village because it's got a clock tower. Tottenham has other things to shout about.
Haringey's got Spurs down the bottom and Muesli Hill up the top, and they don't mix. Crouch End reckons it's a village because it's got a clock tower. Ally Pally sits on its hill with a cracking view of the lot, through air with more than twice the typical town's nitrogen dioxide in it.
The fly-tippers have the run of the place. The council logged 70 incidents per 1,000 people a year, more than six times the typical council, and the mattress on the pavement is practically a borough landmark. Someone on a moped will have your phone off you while you're looking at it.
Complain to the council and you'll probably end up at the ombudsman, who upheld 51 complaints against it in 2025-26. That's a lot of people being proved right about Haringey.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Haringey's 98 for fly-tipping means it's crapper than 98% of towns.
- Fly-tipping98/10070.2 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Haringey council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Air pollution98/10018.0 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 9.0 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Anti-social behaviour95/10031.9 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Serious road collisions91/1004.0 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Food hygiene76/1003.5% rated 0 to 2, of the 1,581 food businesses with a rating
- Broadband66/10010.9% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 10.9% across the Haringey council area
- Deliberate fires60/100
- Criminal damage and arson40/1006.4 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Rain16/100116 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Sewage spills8/1003.7 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 2 | Westminster | 100 |
| 3 | Camden | 97 |
| 4 | Tower Hamlets | 96 |
| 5 | Lambeth | 95 |
| 6 | Haringey | 92 |
| 7 | Hackney | 92 |
| 8 | Brent | 91 |
| 9 | Hillingdon | 91 |
| 10 | Croydon | 91 |
Haringey by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 105 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 38% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 330 reports of fly-tipping on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 12.5 per 10,000 people, 11.4x the typical town's 1.1
- 27 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2024
- 2 of 3 bathing waters here or within 2 km rated Excellent in 2025
What's left on the high street
- 76 pubs, 183 hairdressers, 37 charity shops, 34 bookmakers, 7 vape shops, 17 banks, 6 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 4.6% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (9 of 195) Worse: 15% higher than the typical town's 4.0%
- 8 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Better: 3.0 per 100,000 people, 12% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 31 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Worse: 1.2 per 10,000 people, 25% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 11 public swimming pools open; 1 closed for good since 2010 Worse: 0.4 per 10,000 people, 43% lower than the typical English town's 0.7
- 17 places on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- All night buses on a Wednesday Better: The typical town's last bus goes at 12.14am
- 0.9% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 1.8x the typical town's 0.5%
- 8.0% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 48% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,585 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Haringey council
Have a crap-off
Haringey against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.