Crap Towns / Greater London / Richmond upon Thames
Richmond upon Thames
68/100Crap Score
315th crappest of 984 towns, and 28th in Greater London. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Richmond. Nicer than you. It knows.
There's a view off Richmond Hill so pretty they passed a law to protect it. Shame about the flight path.
Richmond's so pleased with itself it's got a view protected by Act of Parliament. There are deer in the park and a plane over your head every couple of minutes, and the locals swear they don't hear them any more. Twickers on a match day is the rugby lot having a lovely time on your front wall.
For somewhere with that much park, the air's a disgrace: nearly twice the typical town's nitrogen dioxide. The traffic barely moves and still manages more serious crashes than it should. Somebody still dumps a mattress down by the river, and the council logs twice the typical English council's fly-tipping. There are 19 places on the Heritage at Risk register, in a borough where everyone can afford a roofer.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Richmond upon Thames's 97 for air pollution means it's crapper than 97% of towns.
- Air pollution97/10016.1 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 8.4 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Serious road collisions96/1004.9 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Fly-tipping87/10023.4 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Richmond upon Thames council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Anti-social behaviour57/10016.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Broadband57/1009.2% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 9.2% across the Richmond upon Thames council area
- Food hygiene56/1002.7% rated 0 to 2, of the 1,011 food businesses with a rating
- Criminal damage and arson21/1005.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Sewage spills20/10041.2 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Deliberate fires18/100
- Rain7/100112 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 24 | Redbridge | 77 |
| 25 | Barking and Dagenham | 77 |
| 26 | Kingston upon Thames | 73 |
| 27 | Havering | 72 |
| 28 | Richmond upon Thames | 68 |
| 29 | Harrow | 67 |
| 30 | Bexley | 66 |
| 31 | Merton | 60 |
| 32 | Sutton | 58 |
Richmond upon Thames by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 60.1 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 21% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 302 reports of fly-tipping on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 15.5 per 10,000 people, 14.1x the typical town's 1.1
- 8 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2026
What's left on the high street
- 113 pubs, 169 hairdressers, 50 charity shops, 10 bookmakers, 12 vape shops, 8 banks, 5 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1.8% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (1 of 57) Better: 55% lower than the typical town's 4.0%
- 6 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Better: 3.1 per 100,000 people, 9% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 1 library shut for good since 2010: Heathfield Library Access Point (2019)
- 141 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 7.2 per 10,000 people, 4.5x the typical town's 1.6
- 18 public swimming pools open; 1 closed for good since 2010 Better: 0.9 per 10,000 people, 29% higher than the typical English town's 0.7
- 19 places on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 1.51am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.0% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 2x the typical town's 0.5%
- 14.9% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space About the same: About the same as the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,679 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 10% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Richmond upon Thames council
Have a crap-off
Richmond upon Thames against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.