Crap Towns / Greater London / Bexley
Bexley
66/100Crap Score
338th crappest of 984 towns, and 30th in Greater London. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Best building's a sewage works.
The prettiest thing in the borough pumps sewage. Bexleyheath is a long Broadway and a bigger car park.
Bexley's grandest building is a Victorian sewage pumping station at Crossness, all painted ironwork, and they open it up for tours. That tells you where the effort went. There's no Tube, Sidcup's dead by teatime and plenty of them still put Kent on their post.
Kent's welcome to the air. The nitrogen dioxide is 1.7 times the typical town's, and the Environment Agency has logged 17 serious pollution incidents in and around the borough since 2016, the latest a cloud of dust. Some of the kitchens could do with the scrub the pumps get, too: the share with a low hygiene rating is nearly twice the typical town's.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Bexley's 96 for air pollution means it's crapper than 96% of towns.
- Air pollution96/10014.3 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 8.5 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Food hygiene85/1004.4% rated 0 to 2, of the 1,284 food businesses with a rating
- Fly-tipping73/10015.9 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Bexley council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Serious road collisions72/1003.0 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Deliberate fires58/100
- Anti-social behaviour54/10015.8 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Criminal damage and arson46/1006.8 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Broadband38/1006.6% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 6.6% across the Bexley council area
- Sewage spills12/10011.0 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2024 to 2025
- Rain2/100107 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 25 | Barking and Dagenham | 77 |
| 26 | Kingston upon Thames | 73 |
| 27 | Havering | 72 |
| 28 | Richmond upon Thames | 68 |
| 29 | Harrow | 67 |
| 30 | Bexley | 66 |
| 31 | Merton | 60 |
| 32 | Sutton | 58 |
| 33 | Bromley | 55 |
Bexley by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 67.4 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 12% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 2,652 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 108 per 10,000 people, 31.8x the typical town's 3.4
- 17 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2026
What's left on the high street
- 80 pubs, 96 hairdressers, 29 charity shops, 22 bookmakers, 9 vape shops, 12 banks, 3 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 6.6% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (13 of 198) Worse: 1.7x the typical town's 4.0%
- 7 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Better: 2.8 per 100,000 people, 18% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 43 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 1.7 per 10,000 people, 6% higher than the typical town's 1.6
- 8 public swimming pools open; 1 closed for good since 2010 Worse: 0.3 per 10,000 people, 57% lower than the typical English town's 0.7
- 3 places on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 1.15am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.7% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 40% higher than the typical town's 0.5%
- 24.4% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 1.6x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,592 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Bexley council
Have a crap-off
Bexley against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.