Crap Towns / Cornwall / Hayle
Hayle
20/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 20. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Hayle? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Copperhouse still hates Foundry
A gorgeous beach, and a summer queue right through town to get to it.
Hayle has some of the best beach in Cornwall and a town that's sat in a traffic jam every summer, even after they fixed the A30. Copperhouse and Foundry still hate each other, centuries on. The vandals are busier than most places this size, with criminal damage at 1.7 times the typical town's rate.
There's no public park on the map and no public pool, but every bathing water nearby came out Excellent, so the sea's doing the work. 62 premises fall short of even the legal minimum broadband. Great beach. Shit queue.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Hayle's 91 for broadband means it's crapper than 91% of towns.
- Broadband91/10012.8% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 34.0% across the Cornwall council area
- Criminal damage and arson91/10011.6 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Rain75/100151 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Serious road collisions36/1002.0 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Food hygiene35/1001.5% rated 0 to 2, of the 68 food businesses with a rating
- Anti-social behaviour31/10012.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Fly-tipping16/1005.7 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Cornwall council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Deliberate fires16/1002.7 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Sewage spills11/1009.4 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Air pollution5/1003.2 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.1 of fine particles, 2024 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 5 | St Austell | 54 |
| 6 | Newquay | 51 |
| 7 | Falmouth | 46 |
| 8 | Camborne | 42 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.9 | Saltash | 38 |
| 10 | Redruth | 33 |
| 11 | Helston | 25 |
| 12 | Penryn | 24 |
| – | Hayle | 20 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Hayle by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 74.1 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 76.2
- 2 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 2.2 per 10,000 people, 35% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 1 serious pollution incident within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2017
- 4 of 4 bathing waters here or within 2 km rated Excellent in 2025
What's left on the high street
- 7 pubs, 2 hairdressers, 1 charity shop, 1 bookmaker, 2 banks on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 0.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (0 of 12) Better: Against the typical town's 4.0%
- 1 banking hub opened here
- 4 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 4.4 per 10,000 people, 2.8x the typical town's 1.6
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
- 1 place on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.03am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 2.3% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 4.6x the typical town's 0.5%
- 27.9% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space, and OS maps no public park here Worse: 1.8x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,684 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 10% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Cornwall council
Have a crap-off
Hayle against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.