Crap Towns / Greater Manchester / Hattersley
Hattersley
52/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 52. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Still being regenerated.
Manchester built it on a hillside in the sixties and has been forgetting about it ever since.
Manchester built Hattersley on a hillside in the sixties to take its overspill, and people have lived on Hattersley, never in it, ever since. The countryside's right over the fence. The regeneration's been going on for years, and the kids still have nowhere to go.
The rain turns up on 165 days a year and the sun shows its face for 1,315 hours. There are 3 pubs and no pool, and hardly any public park on the estate itself. What it does have is buses, more than twice the typical town's after seven, so getting off it has never been easier.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Hattersley's 88 for rain means it's crapper than 88% of towns.
- Rain88/100165 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Deliberate fires72/10010.5 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Fly-tipping70/10015.2 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Tameside council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Criminal damage and arson64/1008.1 per 1,000 people a year, July 2023 to June 2026
- Air pollution56/1008.8 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.8 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Anti-social behaviour51/10015.5 per 1,000 people a year, July 2023 to June 2026
- Food hygiene40/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 12 food businesses with a rating
- Serious road collisions37/1002.0 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Sewage spills24/10058.6 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Broadband21/1004.0% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 4.9% across the Tameside council area
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 52 | Reddish | 60 |
| 53 | Stretford | 58 |
| 54 | Orrell | 56 |
| 55 | Stockport | 56 |
| – | Hattersley | 52 |
| 56 | Ashton-in-Makerfield | 51 |
| 57 | Hazel Grove | 50 |
| 58 | Cheadle | 50 |
| 59 | Standish | 49 |
Hattersley by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 92.7 crimes per 1,000 people a year (July 2023 to June 2026) Worse: 22% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 2 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 2.9 per 10,000 people, 15% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 1 serious pollution incident within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2017
What's left on the high street
- 3 pubs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1 public toilet on the map (October 2026) Worse: 1.4 per 10,000 people, 13% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.34pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 2.2x the typical town's 0.5%
- 32.2% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 2.1x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,315 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 14% lower than the typical town's 1,532
Tameside council
Have a crap-off
Hattersley against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.