Crap Towns / County Durham / Hartlepool
Hartlepool
79/100Crap Score
209th crappest of 984 towns, and 4th in County Durham. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
They hanged a monkey.
They elected the football mascot as mayor. That's how it's going.
Hartlepool's famous for hanging a monkey because they thought it was a spy, and for electing the football mascot as mayor. Says it all. They put a marina next to a town centre full of empty shops, and locals reckon the walls are there to keep them out. Up the Headland the gulls will have your chips.
The back alleys are where the fly-tippers go, and the council's fly-tipping runs at nearly three times the typical council's. Then the local firebugs set fire to it. Deliberate fires come in at nearly thirteen times the typical town's rate, and bins and rubbish at about twenty-seven times. Shoplifting's three and a half times the typical town's.
8 swimming pools have closed since 2010, Barclays, HSBC and NatWest have each shut a branch, and Foggy Furze library went in 2011. Darlington still mention the monkey.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Hartlepool's 99 for deliberate fires means it's crapper than 99% of towns.
- Deliberate fires99/10073.2 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Criminal damage and arson98/10016.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Fly-tipping94/10029.5 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Hartlepool council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Anti-social behaviour92/10028.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Serious road collisions72/1003.1 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Sewage spills58/100388 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Air pollution26/1007.2 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.5 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Rain17/100116 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Broadband4/1001.7% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 3.1% across the Hartlepool council area
- Food hygiene1/1000.7% rated 0 to 2, of the 595 food businesses with a rating
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Bishop Auckland | 95 |
| 2 | Stanley | 88 |
| 3 | Darlington | 80 |
| 4 | Hartlepool | 79 |
| 5 | Chester-le-Street | 77 |
| 6 | Spennymoor | 74 |
| 7 | Stockton-on-Tees | 73 |
| 8 | Peterlee | 71 |
| 9 | Durham | 70 |
Hartlepool by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 149 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 2x the typical town's 76.2
- 71 reports of fly-tipping on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 8.1 per 10,000 people, 7.4x the typical town's 1.1
- 8 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2026
- 2 of 4 bathing waters here or within 2 km rated Excellent in 2025
What's left on the high street
- 60 pubs, 29 hairdressers, 17 charity shops, 5 bookmakers, 3 vape shops, 10 banks, 5 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 0.9% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (1 of 112) Better: 78% lower than the typical town's 4.0%
- 3 bank branch closures announced since 2022 About the same: 3.4 per 100,000 people, about the same as the typical town's 3.4
- 1 library shut for good since 2010: Foggy Furze (2011)
- 11 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Worse: 1.3 per 10,000 people, 19% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 6 public swimming pools open; 8 closed for good since 2010 About the same: 0.7 per 10,000 people, about the same as the typical English town's 0.7
- 6 places on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.55pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.7% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 40% higher than the typical town's 0.5%
- 37.4% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 2.4x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,543 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Hartlepool council
- £2,560 Band D council tax (2026-27) Worse: £168 more than the English average
- 16% of Hartlepool council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) About the same: About the same as England's 16%
- 1 ombudsman complaint upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Hartlepool against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.