Crap Towns / County Durham / Darlington
Darlington
80/100Crap Score
193rd crappest of 984 towns, and 3rd in County Durham. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Monte Carlo it isn't
Locals call it Monte Darlo. Others call it Darlingrad. Guess which is nearer the mark.
Darlington gave the world the passenger railway, then let its town centre go to shit. Empty shops, a food hall where the market stalls used to be, and dead at night. They built a football stadium miles too big for the club. Locals call it Monte Darlo. They're taking the piss.
There's 105 hairdressers and 3 public toilets, which tells you what Darlo thinks matters. Bins and rubbish go up in flames at nearly thirteen times the typical town's rate, and the council's fly-tipping runs at three times the typical council's. It's crapper than Hartlepool, which must sting.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Darlington's 96 for deliberate fires means it's crapper than 96% of towns.
- Deliberate fires96/10038.3 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Criminal damage and arson96/10014.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Fly-tipping93/10033.3 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Darlington council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Anti-social behaviour91/10028.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Serious road collisions68/1002.9 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Broadband34/1005.4% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 7.3% across the Darlington council area
- Food hygiene31/1001.9% rated 0 to 2, of the 586 food businesses with a rating
- Rain31/100121 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Air pollution25/1007.1 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.5 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Sewage spills24/10061.0 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Bishop Auckland | 95 |
| 2 | Stanley | 88 |
| 3 | Darlington | 80 |
| 4 | Hartlepool | 79 |
| 5 | Chester-le-Street | 77 |
| 6 | Spennymoor | 74 |
| 7 | Stockton-on-Tees | 73 |
| 8 | Peterlee | 71 |
| 9 | Durham | 70 |
Darlington by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 105 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 38% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 50 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 5.4 per 10,000 people, 1.6x the typical town's 3.4
- 4 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2022
What's left on the high street
- 48 pubs, 105 hairdressers, 14 charity shops, 11 bookmakers, 9 vape shops, 12 banks, 7 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 3.3% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (4 of 120) Better: 18% lower than the typical town's 4.0%
- 1 cash machine closure assessed by LINK
- 3 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Worse: 0.3 per 10,000 people, 81% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 6 public swimming pools open; 1 closed for good since 2010 Worse: 0.6 per 10,000 people, 14% lower than the typical English town's 0.7
- 2 places on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.05am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.0% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 2x the typical town's 0.5%
- 17.4% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 12% higher than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,466 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Darlington council
- £2,494 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £102 more than the English average
- 7% of Darlington council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 56% lower than England's 16%
- 5 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Darlington against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.