Crap Towns / County Durham / Stockton-on-Tees
Stockton-on-Tees
73/100Crap Score
266th crappest of 984 towns, and 7th in County Durham. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
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Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Stockton. Lots of High Street, no shops.
A huge wide High Street with hardly anything on it. McDonald's gave up.
Stockton had the first passenger railway and invented the friction match. Now it's got a massive wide High Street with hardly anything left on it. When McDonald's shut, locals took the hint. There's the market and not much nightlife. The food's clean, at least.
Somebody's using those matches. Fires get started on purpose at nine and a half times the typical town's rate, the bins at about seventeen times. Vandalism and burglary both come in at more than twice the typical town's. 3 swimming pools have shut since 2010, and the council recycles less than a quarter of the bins.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Stockton-on-Tees's 98 for deliberate fires means it's crapper than 98% of towns.
- Deliberate fires98/10054.4 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Criminal damage and arson97/10015.7 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Anti-social behaviour91/10028.1 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Sewage spills68/100565 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Fly-tipping57/10010.9 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Stockton-on-Tees council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Serious road collisions56/1002.6 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Rain47/100126 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Air pollution43/1009.0 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.8 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Broadband38/1005.9% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 8.0% across the Stockton-on-Tees council area
- Food hygiene0/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 605 food businesses with a rating
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 3 | Darlington | 80 |
| 4 | Hartlepool | 79 |
| 5 | Chester-le-Street | 77 |
| 6 | Spennymoor | 74 |
| 7 | Stockton-on-Tees | 73 |
| 8 | Peterlee | 71 |
| 9 | Durham | 70 |
| 10 | Consett | 63 |
| 11 | Seaham | 60 |
Stockton-on-Tees by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 147 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 1.9x the typical town's 76.2
- 78 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 9.2 per 10,000 people, 2.7x the typical town's 3.4
- 2 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2021
What's left on the high street
- 52 pubs, 33 hairdressers, 7 charity shops, 3 bookmakers, 3 vape shops, 10 banks, 5 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 0.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (0 of 91) Better: Against the typical town's 4.0%
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Better: 1.2 per 100,000 people, 65% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 1 library shut for good since 2010: Ragworth Neighbourhood Centre Library (2016)
- 9 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Worse: 1.1 per 10,000 people, 31% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 4 public swimming pools open; 3 closed for good since 2010 Worse: 0.5 per 10,000 people, 29% lower than the typical English town's 0.7
- 1 place on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.04am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 3.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 6.2x the typical town's 0.5%
- 35.4% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 2.3x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,437 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 6% lower than the typical town's 1,532
Stockton-on-Tees council
- £2,590 Band D council tax (2026-27) Worse: £198 more than the English average
- 14% of Stockton-on-Tees council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 13% lower than England's 16%
- 7 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Stockton-on-Tees against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.