Crap Towns / North Yorkshire / Thornaby-on-Tees
Thornaby-on-Tees
71/100Crap Score
283rd crappest of 984 towns, and 8th in North Yorkshire. Higher scores are crapper.
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Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
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Letters from the locals
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Derelict for years, and counting
A Spitfire on a roundabout and a town centre that's been derelict for years.
Thornaby has a Spitfire on a roundabout and a town centre that's been derelict and waiting for redevelopment for years. What's left is bookies and Greggs. Locals call it Thornabronx, which tells you how they feel. They wind up Ingleby Barwick by calling it South Thornaby.
Shoplifting runs at nearly seven times the typical town's rate, which takes some doing with so few shops. Crime overall's more than twice the typical town's, vandalism nearly three times, and the bins go up in flames at about eighteen times. Some homes don't even get the legal minimum broadband. Thornabronx. They're not wrong.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Thornaby-on-Tees's 99 for criminal damage and arson means it's crapper than 99% of towns.
- Criminal damage and arson99/10020.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires98/10052.0 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Anti-social behaviour98/10038.6 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Sewage spills78/100800 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Fly-tipping57/10010.9 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Stockton-on-Tees council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Air pollution49/1009.5 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.0 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Rain44/100125 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Broadband43/1006.7% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 8.0% across the Stockton-on-Tees council area
- Serious road collisions30/1001.9 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Food hygiene2/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 164 food businesses with a rating
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 4 | Scarborough | 78 |
| 5 | Guisborough | 78 |
| 6 | Skipton | 74 |
| 7 | Redcar | 71 |
| 8 | Thornaby-on-Tees | 71 |
| 9 | Whitby | 64 |
| 10 | Northallerton | 56 |
| 11 | Selby | 51 |
| 12 | Huntington | 46 |
Thornaby-on-Tees by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 174 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 2.3x the typical town's 76.2
- 37 reports of fly-tipping on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 15.8 per 10,000 people, 14.4x the typical town's 1.1
- 2 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2021
What's left on the high street
- 10 pubs, 4 hairdressers, 3 charity shops, 4 bookmakers, 2 vape shops, 2 banks, 3 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 0.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (0 of 19) Better: Against the typical town's 4.0%
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Worse: 4.3 per 100,000 people, 26% higher than the typical town's 3.4
- 7 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 3.0 per 10,000 people, 1.9x the typical town's 1.6
- 3 public swimming pools open Better: 1.3 per 10,000 people, 1.9x the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.46pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 5.2% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 10.4x the typical town's 0.5%
- 9.5% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 39% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,416 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 8% lower than the typical town's 1,532
Stockton-on-Tees council
- £2,590 Band D council tax (2026-27) Worse: £198 more than the English average
- 14% of Stockton-on-Tees council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 13% lower than England's 16%
- 7 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Thornaby-on-Tees against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.