Crap Towns / County Durham / Durham

Welcome to

Durham

Castle, cathedral and Oxford's rejects.
Twinned with an Oxbridge rejection letter

70/100Crap Score

293rd crappest of 984 towns, and 9th in County Durham. Higher scores are crapper.

How the score works

Have your say

Crap Town of the Year 2026/27

See the race

The public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.

Letters from the locals

Got something to say about Durham? Write in.

For people Oxford turned down.

Durham's got a castle, a cathedral and a lot of students who wanted to go somewhere else.

Durham's a lovely little city with a castle and a cathedral, and you can see the whole lot in an afternoon. Then there's nothing left. The shopping's that thin everyone goes to Newcastle. Students wander into the road without looking, and the locals have been falling out with them since the 1830s. Cobbles, too. Mind your ankles.

A quarter of the city can't get gigabit broadband, which for a university is a bit shit. Shoplifting is up at nearly three times the typical town's rate. Barclays, Halifax and Virgin Money have all gone, and the Wear gets more sewage than it should. Lovely river walk, if you hold your breath.

What the score is made of

Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.

Durham's 92 for broadband means it's crapper than 92% of towns.

  • Broadband92/10024.5% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 14.6% across the County Durham council area
  • Deliberate fires82/10014.4 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
  • Sewage spills81/100914 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
  • Criminal damage and arson78/1009.4 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
  • Anti-social behaviour76/10020.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
  • Fly-tipping56/10010.5 incidents per 1,000 people a year, County Durham council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
  • Serious road collisions55/1002.5 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
  • Rain45/100125 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
  • Air pollution27/1007.5 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.5 of fine particles, 2024 average
  • Food hygiene0/1000.5% rated 0 to 2, of the 402 food businesses with a rating
Your patch: County DurhamTowns in the same county. Top of the table is crappest.
PosTownNationalScore
5Chester-le-Street223rd77
6Spennymoor259th74
7Stockton-on-Tees266th73
8Peterlee286th71
9Durham293rd70
10Consett360th63
11Seaham395th60
12Newton Aycliffe415th58
13Billingham473rd52

Durham by numbers

Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.

Crime, muck and dodgy water

What's left on the high street

Getting about, getting online, getting rained on

County Durham council

Have a crap-off

Durham against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.

DurhamCrap Score 70
v

Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.