Crap TownsBritain's towns, rated by the people stuck in them

Crap Towns / Staffordshire / Featherstone

Welcome to

Featherstone

Learner drivers and prisons. Lovely.
Twinned with a learner driver doing a hill start

16/100Crap Score

Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 16. Higher scores are crapper.

How the score works

Have your say

Crap Town of the Year 2026/27

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The public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.

Letters from the locals

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The prisons are the nice neighbours

A driving test centre, prisons up the road, and no Sunday bus.

Featherstone's roads are full of learner drivers, because the test centre is here, and its neighbours are prisons. The old village pub has gone, the dog bins overflow and there's litter. It's quiet, mind. Nobody's breaking out to come here.

And if you do come, you're not getting home. The last bus home is at 6.47pm and nothing runs on a Sunday, which is one way to get the kids through their driving test. The broadband's no better: superfast doesn't reach 3.9% of premises, nearly eight times the typical town's share.

The editor, who stalled at the junction

What the score is made of

Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.

Featherstone's 84 for broadband means it's crapper than 84% of towns.

  • Broadband84/10015.2% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 16.4% across the South Staffordshire council area
  • Air pollution68/1009.9 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.0 of fine particles, 2024 average
  • Food hygiene61/1006.3% rated 0 to 2, of the 16 food businesses with a rating
  • Rain59/100133 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
  • Fly-tipping58/10011.0 incidents per 1,000 people a year, South Staffordshire council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
  • Deliberate fires29/1003.9 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
  • Serious road collisions19/1001.4 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
  • Criminal damage and arson5/1003.4 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
  • Sewage spills2/1000.0 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
  • Anti-social behaviour0/1003.7 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
Your patch: StaffordshireTowns in the same county. Top of the table is crappest.
PosTownNationalScore
8Biddulph746th24
9Stafford764th22
10Wombourne821st17
11Uttoxeter824th16
–Featherstone–16
12Tamworth837th15
13Cheadle850th14
14Stone853rd13
15Lichfield887th10

Featherstone by numbers

Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.

Crime, muck and dodgy water

What's left on the high street

Getting about, getting online, getting rained on

South Staffordshire council

Have a crap-off

Featherstone against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.

FeatherstoneCrap Score 16
v
Great Wyrley and Cheslyn HayCrap Score 25

Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.