Crap Towns / Staffordshire / Lichfield
Lichfield
10/100Crap Score
887th crappest of 984 towns, and 15th in Staffordshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Lichfield. Not Vegas.
A pretty cathedral city with nice parks, lots of pubs and a redevelopment that never happens.
Locals call it Lich Vegas, which is the funniest thing about the place. It's a pretty little cathedral city with Beacon Park, Georgian streets and a lot of pubs, and it's dead pleased with itself. Friarsgate has been about to be redeveloped for so long it's practically listed.
It did have swimming pools. Since 2010, 2 have shut for good, the latest in 2026, and now there are none. Minster Pool's still there, for looking at. Barclays and Halifax are off too, and the fields keep turning into estates. Vegas has a pool.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Lichfield's 69 for broadband means it's crapper than 69% of towns.
- Broadband69/1008.7% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 16.8% across the Lichfield council area
- Food hygiene53/1002.6% rated 0 to 2, of the 231 food businesses with a rating
- Air pollution50/1007.8 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.9 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Rain43/100125 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Sewage spills41/100190 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Anti-social behaviour32/10012.4 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Criminal damage and arson26/1005.3 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires20/1003.6 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Fly-tipping10/1003.8 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Lichfield council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Serious road collisions3/1000.9 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 10 | Wombourne | 17 |
| 11 | Uttoxeter | 16 |
| 12 | Tamworth | 15 |
| 13 | Cheadle | 14 |
| 14 | Stone | 13 |
| 15 | Lichfield | 10 |
| 16 | Burntwood | 6 |
| 17 | Cannock | 4 |
| 18 | Rugeley | 2 |
Lichfield by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 73.9 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 76.2
- 5 reports of fly-tipping on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 1.5 per 10,000 people, 36% higher than the typical town's 1.1
- 3 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2023
What's left on the high street
- 26 pubs, 6 hairdressers, 4 charity shops, 4 banks, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 4.4% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (1 of 23) Worse: 10% higher than the typical town's 4.0%
- 2 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 6.1 per 100,000 people, 1.8x the typical town's 3.4
- 8 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 2.5 per 10,000 people, 1.6x the typical town's 1.6
- None public swimming pools open; 2 closed for good since 2010 Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
- 1 place on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.14pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.2% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 60% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 16.1% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space About the same: About the same as the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,502 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Lichfield council
- £2,352 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £40 less than the English average
- 10% of Staffordshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 38% lower than England's 16%
- 1 ombudsman complaint upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Lichfield against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.