Crap Towns / Cheshire / Elworth
Elworth
24/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 24. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Got off at Sandbach? You're here.
Elworth has Sandbach's station. Sandbach gets the name. Elworth gets the road closures.
Elworth's a quiet little place with hardly any crime, a brass band, a cricket club and the station everyone calls Sandbach. They used to build lorries here. Nobody's set a single deliberate fire in three years, and that's about as exciting as it gets.
The new estate at Broadmeadow has pavements that stop dead in the mud, and the road closures send you the long way round to a station in your own bloody village. The overflows run for nearly three times as long as the typical town's. Sandbach gets the name. Elworth gets the sewage.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Elworth's 77 for sewage spills means it's crapper than 77% of towns.
- Sewage spills77/100787 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Rain70/100146 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Food hygiene61/1006.3% rated 0 to 2, of the 16 food businesses with a rating
- Broadband48/1004.0% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 16.3% across the Cheshire East council area
- Fly-tipping43/10010.0 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Cheshire East council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Serious road collisions41/1002.1 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Air pollution40/1007.7 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.4 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Anti-social behaviour1/1003.4 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Criminal damage and arson0/1002.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires0/100None, April 2023 to March 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 10 | Congleton | 33 |
| 11 | Sandbach | 31 |
| 12 | Nantwich | 28 |
| 13 | Neston | 28 |
| – | Elworth | 24 |
| 14 | Alsager | 22 |
| 15 | Lymm | 21 |
| 16 | Wilmslow | 21 |
| 17 | Poynton | 15 |
Elworth by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 40.2 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 47% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 3 problems reported on FixMyStreet in the year to October 2026 Better: 3.9 per 10,000 people, 81% lower than the typical town's 20.4
- 2 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2020
What's left on the high street
- 3 pubs, 1 hairdresser on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1 public toilet on the map (October 2026) Worse: 1.3 per 10,000 people, 19% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.14pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.0% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: Against the typical town's 0.5%
- 9.9% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 36% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,480 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Cheshire East council
- £2,455 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £63 more than the English average
- 17% of Cheshire East council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 6% higher than England's 16%
- 33 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Elworth against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.