Crap Towns / Cheshire / Cuddington
Cuddington
12/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 12. Higher scores are crapper.
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Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
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Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
There's a tower in the road. Why?
Cuddington's station has won prizes. Nobody's given one to the train service.
Cuddington has a station so nice it's won prizes, and a train service so bad you'll have plenty of time to admire it. There's a stone tower stuck in the middle of the main road at Sandiway, and the new houses go up without anything else coming with them.
The last bus on a Wednesday goes at 7.04pm and there's none on a Sunday. More than a fifth of premises can't get gigabit broadband. Nobody's set a single deliberate fire here in three years, and nobody causes any other trouble either. They're all waiting for a train.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Cuddington's 89 for broadband means it's crapper than 89% of towns.
- Broadband89/10021.7% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 11.7% across the Cheshire West and Chester council area
- Rain75/100151 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Sewage spills54/100321 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Food hygiene53/1003.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 33 food businesses with a rating
- Fly-tipping34/1008.3 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Cheshire West and Chester council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Serious road collisions24/1001.5 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Air pollution17/1005.2 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.8 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Criminal damage and arson4/1003.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Anti-social behaviour0/1002.5 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires0/100None, April 2023 to March 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 13 | Neston | 28 |
| 14 | Alsager | 22 |
| 15 | Lymm | 21 |
| 16 | Wilmslow | 21 |
| 17 | Poynton | 15 |
| 18 | Knutsford | 14 |
| – | Cuddington | 12 |
| 19 | Macclesfield | 12 |
| 20 | Davenham | 12 |
Cuddington by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
What's left on the high street
- 3 pubs, 4 hairdressers on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 7.04pm last bus out on a Wednesday, and none on a Sunday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.4% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 2.8x the typical town's 0.5%
- 16.4% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 6% higher than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,477 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Cheshire West and Chester council
- £2,517 Band D council tax (2026-27) Worse: £125 more than the English average
- 6% of Cheshire West and Chester council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 63% lower than England's 16%
- 16 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Cuddington against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.