Crap Towns / Lancashire / Clitheroe
Clitheroe
77/100Crap Score
227th crappest of 984 towns, and 22nd in Lancashire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Clitheroe thinks it's posh.
A castle, a food festival, silly house prices, and more trouble than the locals let on.
Clitheroe has a castle, a market, a food festival and house prices to match, and it lives in its own little bubble. New arrivals get the pitchforks and torches. It thinks it's better than the rest of Lancashire. Is it?
The storm overflows go off for nearly seven times the typical town's hours, and the river at Edisford Bridge was rated Poor for bathing. Both public pools are shut for now, so there's nowhere clean to swim at all. Anti-social behaviour is running at 1.6 times the typical town's rate, the banks have announced three closures since 2022, and there's rain on 171 days a year. Not that posh after all, are you, Clitheroe.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Clitheroe's 93 for sewage spills means it's crapper than 93% of towns.
- Sewage spills93/1001,861 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Rain92/100171 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Serious road collisions83/1003.6 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Anti-social behaviour80/10021.9 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Fly-tipping55/10010.5 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Ribble Valley council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Deliberate fires53/1005.9 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Broadband45/1004.6% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 13.4% across the Ribble Valley council area
- Food hygiene25/1001.3% rated 0 to 2, of the 150 food businesses with a rating
- Criminal damage and arson23/1005.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Air pollution23/1005.9 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.0 of fine particles, 2024 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 18 | Fleetwood | 91 |
| 19 | Skelmersdale | 85 |
| 20 | Fulwood | 82 |
| 21 | Chorley | 81 |
| 22 | Clitheroe | 77 |
| 23 | Bamber Bridge | 72 |
| 24 | Leyland | 69 |
| 25 | Cleveleys | 64 |
| 26 | Heysham | 63 |
Clitheroe by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 50.0 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 34% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 4 reports of abandoned vehicles on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 2.4 per 10,000 people, 2.7x the typical town's 0.9
- 4 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2025
- Poor River Ribble at Edisford Bridge's bathing water rating, 2025
What's left on the high street
- 11 pubs, 25 hairdressers, 5 charity shops, 2 bookmakers, 2 vape shops, 3 banks on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 4.2% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (1 of 24) Worse: 5% higher than the typical town's 4.0%
- 3 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 18.0 per 100,000 people, 5.3x the typical town's 3.4
- 6 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 3.6 per 10,000 people, 2.3x the typical town's 1.6
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.15am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.2% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 60% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 0.0% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: Against the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,338 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 13% lower than the typical town's 1,532
Ribble Valley council
Have a crap-off
Clitheroe against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.