Crap Towns / Lancashire / Cleveleys
Cleveleys
64/100Crap Score
351st crappest of 984 towns, and 25th in Lancashire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Not even Blackpool.
The prom was in Star Wars. That's it. That's the only thing that's ever happened.
Cleveleys' prom got used in a Star Wars series, and that's the most exciting thing that's ever happened here. It looked good on the telly. Back on Victoria Road West it's bookies, charity shops and shutters, more of the first two per head than most towns, and the bank's announced it's off. B&M started here. That about sums it up.
The roads are the thing to watch. Serious crashes come in at 2.6 times the typical town's rate, which takes some doing in a quiet seaside town where nobody's in a hurry. Of the 13 takeaways with a rating, 2 get 0 to 2 from the hygiene inspectors. There's no public pool. The sea's rated Good, so there's that.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Cleveleys's 98 for serious road collisions means it's crapper than 98% of towns.
- Serious road collisions98/1006.3 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Anti-social behaviour78/10021.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Rain73/100149 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Food hygiene71/1004.8% rated 0 to 2, of the 63 food businesses with a rating
- Sewage spills50/100283 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Criminal damage and arson42/1006.5 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Fly-tipping29/1007.4 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Wyre council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Deliberate fires18/1003.1 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Broadband18/1002.2% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 7.6% across the Wyre council area
- Air pollution12/1005.2 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.2 of fine particles, 2024 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 21 | Chorley | 81 |
| 22 | Clitheroe | 77 |
| 23 | Bamber Bridge | 72 |
| 24 | Leyland | 69 |
| 25 | Cleveleys | 64 |
| 26 | Heysham | 63 |
| 27 | Barnoldswick | 63 |
| 28 | Poulton-le-Fylde | 61 |
| 29 | Ormskirk | 51 |
Cleveleys by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 64.0 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 16% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 2 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2025
- Good Cleveleys's bathing water rating, 2025
What's left on the high street
- 8 pubs, 3 hairdressers, 6 charity shops, 2 bookmakers, 1 bank on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 15.4% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (2 of 13) Worse: 3.9x the typical town's 4.0%
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Worse: 9.0 per 100,000 people, 2.6x the typical town's 3.4
- 2 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 1.8 per 10,000 people, 13% higher than the typical town's 1.6
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
- 1 place on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.46pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 80% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 23.5% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 1.5x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,576 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Wyre council
Have a crap-off
Cleveleys against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.