Crap Towns / Cumbria / Cleator Moor
Cleator Moor
73/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 73. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Quiet as the grave on Market Square
Iron town. The iron's gone. The bookies haven't.
Cleator Moor dug iron ore and made iron, and then it stopped. The old mineral railways are cycle paths now, so the only people passing through are in Lycra, and they don't stop either. Market Square is quiet as the grave on a weekday and quieter on a Sunday. Locals call the place Cleator Mordor. Nobody's argued.
It pisses down on 169 days a year, more than Whitehaven or Workington, and over 1,300 mm of it lands. When it does, the storm overflows go, and the spill hours per head run at more than eighteen times the typical town's. The conservation area has ended up on the at-risk register, which won't surprise anyone who's walked round the middle.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Cleator Moor's 99 for sewage spills means it's crapper than 99% of towns.
- Sewage spills99/1005,069 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Rain91/100169 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Criminal damage and arson83/10010.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Broadband67/1008.8% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 15.2% across the Cumberland council area
- Deliberate fires65/1008.3 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Food hygiene65/1004.4% rated 0 to 2, of the 46 food businesses with a rating
- Fly-tipping63/10012.6 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Cumberland council area, 2023-24 to 2024-25
- Anti-social behaviour45/1009.7 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Serious road collisions32/1001.8 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Air pollution1/1002.1 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 4.4 of fine particles, 2024 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Whitehaven | 75 |
| 2 | Workington | 75 |
| – | Cleator Moor | 73 |
| 3 | Barrow-in-Furness | 65 |
| 4 | Carlisle | 62 |
| 5 | Ulverston | 40 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.6 | Penrith | 25 |
| 7 | Kendal | 20 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Cleator Moor by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 75.7 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 76.2
- 3 reports of broken street lights on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 4.5 per 10,000 people, 6.4x the typical town's 0.7
What's left on the high street
- 6 pubs, 2 hairdressers, 1 charity shop, 2 bookmakers, 2 banks, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 8.3% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (1 of 12) Worse: 2.1x the typical town's 4.0%
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
- 1 place on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 10.35pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.4% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 20% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 34.3% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 2.2x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,410 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 8% lower than the typical town's 1,532
Cumberland council
Have a crap-off
Cleator Moor against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.