Crap Towns / Cumbria / Kendal
Kendal
20/100Crap Score
Known as the Auld Grey Town.
783rd crappest of 984 towns, and 7th in Cumbria. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Kendal? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
It's grey and it's jammed.
Mint cake, grey stone and a one-way system that has defeated everyone who's tried it.
Kendal is the Auld Grey Town, and it chucks it down on 171 days a year to keep it that way, over 1,400 mm of it. That's wetter than Workington, which Kendalians will be thrilled to hear. Kendalians also tell everyone they live in the Lakes. The national park boundary is up the road. They don't.
Then there's the one-way system, which has beaten everyone who's ever driven into it, while locals call the road out the Kendal freeway with a straight face. Its most famous export is a slab of sugar with mint in it that went up Everest in 1953, and the town's been dining out on that ever since.
There are 23 public toilets, nearly five times the typical town's rate. With that much rain coming down, it seems a bit much.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Kendal's 93 for rain means it's crapper than 93% of towns.
- Rain93/100171 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Sewage spills61/100428 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Broadband51/1003.6% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 18.2% across the Westmorland and Furness council area
- Criminal damage and arson50/1007.1 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires45/1005.7 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Fly-tipping34/1008.3 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Westmorland and Furness council area, 2023-24 to 2024-25
- Serious road collisions23/1001.7 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Food hygiene21/1001.4% rated 0 to 2, of the 221 food businesses with a rating
- Anti-social behaviour18/1006.6 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Air pollution6/1004.1 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.0 of fine particles, 2024 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Whitehaven | 75 |
| 2 | Workington | 75 |
| 3 | Barrow-in-Furness | 65 |
| 4 | Carlisle | 62 |
| 5 | Ulverston | 40 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.6 | Penrith | 25 |
| 7 | Kendal | 20 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Kendal by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 75.3 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 76.2
- 25 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 8.6 per 10,000 people, 2.5x the typical town's 3.4
- 4 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2026
What's left on the high street
- 27 pubs, 35 hairdressers, 15 charity shops, 2 bookmakers, 4 vape shops, 10 banks, 3 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 0.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (0 of 26) Better: Against the typical town's 4.0%
- 3 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 10.4 per 100,000 people, 3.1x the typical town's 3.4
- 23 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 7.9 per 10,000 people, 4.9x the typical town's 1.6
- 5 public swimming pools open Better: 1.7 per 10,000 people, 2.4x the typical English town's 0.7
- 2 places on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.04am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.4% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 20% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 15.7% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space About the same: About the same as the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,377 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 10% lower than the typical town's 1,532
Westmorland and Furness council
- £2,508 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £116 more than the English average
- 26% of Westmorland and Furness council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 1.6x England's 16%
- 8 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Kendal against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.