Crap Towns / Hampshire / Bursledon
Bursledon
53/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 53. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Posh boats, narrow lanes, no spaces.
Yachts on the Hamble, a windmill, and the whole of Hampshire trying to dodge Windhover Roundabout.
Bursledon has boats on the Hamble, a windmill, and it's where they filmed Howards' Way. The lanes are rammed with parked cars and half of Hampshire cuts down Portsmouth Road to dodge Windhover Roundabout. Nice boats, mind.
Then there's the river. Storm overflows round Bursledon spilled for nearly seven times as long as the typical town's, so the yachts are bobbing about in it. The local yobs have taken to setting fires out in the open, and the last bus pulls out at 8.11pm. There's 1 Greggs, which per head is four times the typical town's.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Bursledon's 93 for sewage spills means it's crapper than 93% of towns.
- Sewage spills93/1001,892 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2024 to 2025
- Serious road collisions73/1003.3 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Deliberate fires71/1009.9 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Food hygiene69/1005.4% rated 0 to 2, of the 37 food businesses with a rating
- Broadband59/1009.5% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 9.7% across the Eastleigh council area
- Air pollution55/1009.9 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.4 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Rain42/100125 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Criminal damage and arson30/1005.6 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Anti-social behaviour27/10011.5 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Fly-tipping11/1004.9 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Eastleigh council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Southampton | 79 |
| – | Bursledon | 53 |
| 2 | Havant | 45 |
| 3 | Portsmouth | 44 |
| 4 | Ringwood | 41 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.5 | Basingstoke | 38 |
| 6 | New Milton | 32 |
| 7 | Eastleigh | 29 |
| 8 | Gosport | 28 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Bursledon by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 69.5 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 9% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 91 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 113 per 10,000 people, 33.2x the typical town's 3.4
- 1 serious pollution incident within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2026
What's left on the high street
- 5 pubs, 2 hairdressers, 2 charity shops, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 2 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 2.5 per 10,000 people, 1.6x the typical town's 1.6
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 8.11pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.2% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 2.4x the typical town's 0.5%
- 9.2% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 41% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,695 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 11% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Eastleigh council
- £2,342 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £50 less than the English average
- 8% of Hampshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 50% lower than England's 16%
- 1 ombudsman complaint upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Bursledon against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.