Crap Towns / Berkshire / Burghfield Common
Burghfield Common
46/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 46. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Got a car? You'll need one.
They build nuclear warheads down the road. The locals have been busy smashing things up.
Burghfield Common is next door to where they put the nuclear weapons together. The station's in Mortimer, the buses only go where they feel like going, and the woods are nice, but there's not much else, so somebody's been making their own fun with a brick.
Then the sewage. The storm overflows round the place went off for over ten times the typical town's hours. They can build a warhead round here. Nobody can build a drain.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Burghfield Common's 97 for sewage spills means it's crapper than 97% of towns.
- Sewage spills97/1002,765 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Anti-social behaviour81/10014.8 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Criminal damage and arson71/1008.7 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires61/100
- Broadband43/1004.8% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 12.2% across the West Berkshire council area
- Food hygiene40/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 13 food businesses with a rating
- Air pollution30/1006.3 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.4 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Rain29/100120 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Fly-tipping18/1006.2 incidents per 1,000 people a year, West Berkshire council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Serious road collisions12/1001.1 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| – | Burghfield Common | 46 |
| 1 | Slough | 45 |
| 2 | Reading | 44 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.3 | Newbury | 37 |
| 4 | Ascot | 22 |
| 5 | Windsor | 21 |
| 6 | Thatcham | 17 |
| 7 | Bracknell | 7 |
| 8 | Maidenhead | 6 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Burghfield Common by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 51.4 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 33% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 5 reports of abandoned vehicles on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 8.0 per 10,000 people, 8.9x the typical town's 0.9
What's left on the high street
- 4 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 6.4 per 10,000 people, 4x the typical town's 1.6
- 1 public swimming pool open Better: 1.6 per 10,000 people, 2.3x the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.41pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.0% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: Against the typical town's 0.5%
- 2.8% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 82% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,611 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 5% higher than the typical town's 1,532
West Berkshire council
- £2,505 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £113 more than the English average
- 4% of West Berkshire council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 75% lower than England's 16%
- 4 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Burghfield Common against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.