Crap Towns / Cornwall / Bude
Bude
20/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 20. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Bude? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Hard to slag off, sadly
Bude's got great beaches and a free sea pool. Locals think the Sainsbury's walkway is architecture.
Bude is bloody good at the seaside. Summerleaze and Crooklets would be enough, and they've chucked in a sea pool you don't pay for. The worst locals can come up with is grockles going the wrong way round the one-way system and walking into the road. That, and they reckon the walkway from the Sainsbury's car park is a masterpiece. It's a tunnel.
The catch is getting home. The last bus is at 8.28pm, and on a Sunday there's next to nothing. Barclays and TSB have both shut up shop. Smug gits, all the same.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Bude's 98 for broadband means it's crapper than 98% of towns.
- Broadband98/10027.8% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 34.0% across the Cornwall council area
- Rain78/100153 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Serious road collisions59/1002.7 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Criminal damage and arson55/1007.4 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires44/1005.4 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Anti-social behaviour37/10013.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Fly-tipping16/1005.7 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Cornwall council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Sewage spills11/1009.6 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Food hygiene7/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 94 food businesses with a rating
- Air pollution2/1002.5 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 4.6 of fine particles, 2024 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 5 | St Austell | 54 |
| 6 | Newquay | 51 |
| 7 | Falmouth | 46 |
| 8 | Camborne | 42 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.9 | Saltash | 38 |
| 10 | Redruth | 33 |
| 11 | Helston | 25 |
| 12 | Penryn | 24 |
| – | Bude | 20 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Bude by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 78.7 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 76.2
- 2 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 2.7 per 10,000 people, 21% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 1 serious pollution incident within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2025
- 3 of 3 bathing waters here or within 2 km rated Excellent in 2025
What's left on the high street
- 6 pubs, 3 hairdressers, 5 charity shops, 1 bookmaker, 1 bank on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 0.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (0 of 11) Better: Against the typical town's 4.0%
- 2 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 27.2 per 100,000 people, 8x the typical town's 3.4
- 3 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 4.1 per 10,000 people, 2.6x the typical town's 1.6
- 1 public swimming pool open Better: 1.4 per 10,000 people, 2x the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 8.28pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.8% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 3.6x the typical town's 0.5%
- 16.0% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space About the same: About the same as the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,669 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 9% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Cornwall council
Have a crap-off
Bude against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.