Crap Towns / Cambridgeshire / Brampton
Brampton
39/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 39. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Brampton. Nice until lunch.
Ancient woodland on one side. A landfill you can smell on the other.
Brampton's got an ancient wood and a big flood meadow at Portholme, and both are lovely. It barely rains. Then you get hungry. 3 of the 20 food places have a low hygiene rating, more than six times the typical town's share.
Since 2016 the pollution record shows 10 serious incidents in and around the village, and the latest was landfill stink in the air. The storm overflows spill for more than twice as long as the typical town's. More houses are coming anyway.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Brampton's 85 for food hygiene means it's crapper than 85% of towns.
- Food hygiene85/10015.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 20 food businesses with a rating
- Sewage spills70/100596 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Fly-tipping68/10014.4 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Huntingdonshire council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Broadband53/1008.1% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 10.0% across the Huntingdonshire council area
- Air pollution53/1007.3 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.1 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Deliberate fires33/100
- Criminal damage and arson27/1005.4 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Anti-social behaviour24/10010.9 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Serious road collisions16/1001.2 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Rain0/100105 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 2 | Wisbech | 78 |
| 3 | Peterborough | 70 |
| 4 | Cambridge | 63 |
| 5 | St Ives | 42 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.– | Brampton | 39 |
| 6 | Chatteris | 29 |
| 7 | March | 28 |
| 8 | Ely | 24 |
| 9 | St Neots | 18 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Brampton by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 57.8 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 24% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 2 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 3.0 per 10,000 people, 12% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 10 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2024
What's left on the high street
- 3 pubs, 1 hairdresser on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 10.46pm last bus out on a Wednesday, and none on a Sunday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.7% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 40% higher than the typical town's 0.5%
- 5.1% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 67% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,597 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Huntingdonshire council
- £2,556 Band D council tax (2026-27) Worse: £164 more than the English average
- 7% of Cambridgeshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 56% lower than England's 16%
- 1 ombudsman complaint upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Brampton against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.