Crap Towns / Essex / Basildon
Basildon
86/100Crap Score
Known as Basildon't. Also Basilwood.
135th crappest of 984 towns, and the crappest in Essex. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Basildon? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Basildon. Bas Vegas, apparently.
They put a Hollywood sign up. Then they knocked the town centre down.
Basildon put up its own Hollywood sign, which takes some balls for a new town in Essex. The centre's mostly hoarding, the shops are turning into flats and you still pay to park and watch it happen. Locals call it Basildump. The council logs nearly three times the typical council's fly-tipping, so they'd know.
It's the crappest town in Essex, and in Essex that takes some doing. Some knobhead's starting fires at nearly twice the typical town's rate, and the car thieves are busy. There are 18 pubs and 4 hairdressers for the whole town. Locals still argue over whether Bas Vegas means the whole place or just the leisure park. The leisure park would rather you didn't drag it into this.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Basildon's 91 for fly-tipping means it's crapper than 91% of towns.
- Fly-tipping91/10029.3 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Basildon council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Air pollution89/10012.2 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.7 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Food hygiene88/1005.2% rated 0 to 2, of the 482 food businesses with a rating
- Criminal damage and arson81/10010.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires77/10011.0 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Anti-social behaviour73/10012.9 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Serious road collisions67/1002.9 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Broadband45/1007.0% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 8.7% across the Basildon council area
- Sewage spills19/10038.5 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Rain4/100110 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Basildon | 86 |
| 2 | Tilbury | 83 |
| 3 | Waltham Abbey | 69 |
| 4 | Clacton-on-Sea | 68 |
| 5 | Chafford Hundred and West Thurrock | 64 |
| 6 | Chadwell St Mary | 62 |
| 7 | Southend-on-Sea | 55 |
| 8 | Colchester | 55 |
| 9 | Wickford | 52 |
Basildon by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 114 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 50% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 15 reports of abandoned vehicles on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 1.3 per 10,000 people, 44% higher than the typical town's 0.9
- 12 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2026
What's left on the high street
- 18 pubs, 4 hairdressers, 7 charity shops, 2 bookmakers, 3 vape shops, 9 banks, 4 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 5.5% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (5 of 91) Worse: 38% higher than the typical town's 4.0%
- 14 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Worse: 1.2 per 10,000 people, 25% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 9 public swimming pools open; 4 closed for good since 2010 Better: 0.8 per 10,000 people, 14% higher than the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- All night buses on a Wednesday Better: The typical town's last bus goes at 12.14am
- 0.7% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 40% higher than the typical town's 0.5%
- 3.3% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 79% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,690 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 10% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Basildon council
- £2,327 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £65 less than the English average
- 10% of Essex County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 38% lower than England's 16%
- 6 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Basildon against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.