Crap Towns / Essex / Waltham Abbey
Waltham Abbey
69/100Crap Score
310th crappest of 984 towns, and 3rd in Essex. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Waltham Abbey. Still no station.
They made gunpowder here for centuries. Now the loudest thing is the M25.
Waltham Abbey made gunpowder for centuries, has a cobbled street and an old abbey, and sits right next to the M25 so you can hear it all day. There's no railway station and teenagers have nothing to do.
You can breathe the motorway as well as hear it. Nitrogen dioxide is nearly half as much again as the typical town's. The car thieves and the dealers are both busy. Epping Forest council logs twice the typical council's fly-tipping, and the lanes by the forest get their share.
4 public pools have shut for good since 2010. The Olympics left a white-water course up the road, so there's always that.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Waltham Abbey's 91 for air pollution means it's crapper than 91% of towns.
- Air pollution91/10012.2 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.9 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Fly-tipping87/10023.4 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Epping Forest council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Broadband72/10011.9% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 11.9% across the Epping Forest council area
- Serious road collisions72/1003.1 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Criminal damage and arson69/1008.4 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Anti-social behaviour64/10011.5 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Food hygiene62/1003.5% rated 0 to 2, of the 86 food businesses with a rating
- Deliberate fires15/1003.0 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Rain13/100115 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Sewage spills2/1000.0 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Basildon | 86 |
| 2 | Tilbury | 83 |
| 3 | Waltham Abbey | 69 |
| 4 | Clacton-on-Sea | 68 |
| 5 | Chafford Hundred and West Thurrock | 64 |
| 6 | Chadwell St Mary | 62 |
| 7 | Southend-on-Sea | 55 |
| 8 | Colchester | 55 |
| 9 | Wickford | 52 |
Waltham Abbey by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 87.5 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 15% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 3 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 1.6 per 10,000 people, 53% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 2 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2024
What's left on the high street
- 5 pubs, 1 hairdresser, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 2 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Worse: 1.1 per 10,000 people, 31% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 2 public swimming pools open; 4 closed for good since 2010 Better: 1.1 per 10,000 people, 1.6x the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 10.31pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.4% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 20% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 11.9% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 23% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,620 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 6% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Epping Forest council
- £2,277 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £115 less than the English average
- 10% of Essex County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 38% lower than England's 16%
- 5 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Waltham Abbey against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.