Crap Towns / Essex / Wickford
Wickford
52/100Crap Score
468th crappest of 984 towns, and 9th in Essex. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Bored? You will be.
Wickford used to flood so often they called it Gumboot Alley. Now it's just boring.
Wickford got called Gumboot Alley because it kept flooding. These days it hardly rains, and the High Street keeps shrinking anyway. At night it's lads racing cars with loud exhausts, because there's nothing else to do.
Basildon council logs fly-tipping at 2.7 times the typical council's rate, and Wickford gets its share. Nearly half the town lives more than 400 metres from the nearest park or playground, the air's got more nitrogen dioxide than the typical town's, and the last bus has gone by 9.28pm. The boy racers have the place to themselves.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Wickford's 91 for fly-tipping means it's crapper than 91% of towns.
- Fly-tipping91/10029.3 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Basildon council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Air pollution86/10011.2 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.7 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Anti-social behaviour63/10011.4 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires55/1006.2 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Sewage spills47/100249 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Food hygiene45/1002.2% rated 0 to 2, of the 91 food businesses with a rating
- Broadband35/1004.9% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 8.7% across the Basildon council area
- Criminal damage and arson33/1005.8 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Serious road collisions25/1001.7 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Rain2/100108 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 5 | Chafford Hundred and West Thurrock | 64 |
| 6 | Chadwell St Mary | 62 |
| 7 | Southend-on-Sea | 55 |
| 8 | Colchester | 55 |
| 9 | Wickford | 52 |
| 10 | Canvey Island | 51 |
| 11 | Harlow | 48 |
| 12 | Epping | 47 |
| 13 | Grays | 46 |
Wickford by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 47.3 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 38% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 5 reports of abandoned vehicles on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 1.8 per 10,000 people, 2x the typical town's 0.9
- 4 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2024
What's left on the high street
- 5.9% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (1 of 17) Worse: 48% higher than the typical town's 4.0%
- 2 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 7.3 per 100,000 people, 2.1x the typical town's 3.4
- 5 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 1.8 per 10,000 people, 13% higher than the typical town's 1.6
- 1 public swimming pool open Worse: 0.4 per 10,000 people, 43% lower than the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 9.28pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.4% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 20% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 45.6% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 2.9x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,701 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 11% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Basildon council
- £2,327 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £65 less than the English average
- 10% of Essex County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 38% lower than England's 16%
- 6 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Wickford against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.