Crap Towns / Essex / Chadwell St Mary
Chadwell St Mary
62/100Crap Score
377th crappest of 984 towns, and 6th in Essex. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Dog muck in every alley.
Chadwell sits on a hill over Tilbury Marshes. The view's the best bit. It's all downhill from there.
Chadwell St Mary looks out over the marshes and the Thames, and that's as good as it gets. The alleyways are full of litter and dog shit, and Brentwood Road is lorries and lads racing. There's 1 pub and 2 bookies.
Somebody round here loves a fire. Fires get started on purpose at 4.2 times the typical town's rate, mostly bins and rubbish, and it's getting worse. Criminal damage is 1.7 times the typical town's, the cars get nicked and the air has 1.6 times the typical town's nitrogen dioxide. Vandals, bother and a bookies. What more do you want?
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Chadwell St Mary's 92 for air pollution means it's crapper than 92% of towns.
- Air pollution92/10013.0 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.9 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Criminal damage and arson91/10011.7 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires91/10023.9 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Anti-social behaviour83/10015.3 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Fly-tipping74/10015.9 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Thurrock council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Serious road collisions44/1002.3 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Food hygiene33/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 24 food businesses with a rating
- Broadband26/1004.0% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 7.2% across the Thurrock council area
- Rain4/100109 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Sewage spills2/1000.0 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 2 | Tilbury | 83 |
| 3 | Waltham Abbey | 69 |
| 4 | Clacton-on-Sea | 68 |
| 5 | Chafford Hundred and West Thurrock | 64 |
| 6 | Chadwell St Mary | 62 |
| 7 | Southend-on-Sea | 55 |
| 8 | Colchester | 55 |
| 9 | Wickford | 52 |
| 10 | Canvey Island | 51 |
Chadwell St Mary by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 81.3 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 7% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 2 reports of abandoned vehicles on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 1.9 per 10,000 people, 2.1x the typical town's 0.9
What's left on the high street
- 1 pub, 4 hairdressers, 2 bookmakers on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.05am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.3% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 40% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 19.3% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 25% higher than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,687 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 10% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Thurrock council
Have a crap-off
Chadwell St Mary against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.