Crap Towns / Essex / Epping
Epping
47/100Crap Score
Known as the Ping, or Effing.
518th crappest of 984 towns, and 12th in Essex. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Epping? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Effing Epping.
Forest on the doorstep and the longest Tube ride into London you'll ever sit through.
Epping is the end of the Central line, and you feel it every morning. The trains take forever, commuters park on every street and houses cost an arm and a leg. There's a market on Mondays. Whoop.
It's got a whole bloody forest on the doorstep, and nearly six in ten people still live more than a short walk from a park or a swing. The forest's lovely, and the fly-tippers think so too: the council area gets dumped on at more than twice the typical rate. Somebody's nicking the cars as well. Quicker than the Tube, to be fair.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Epping's 87 for fly-tipping means it's crapper than 87% of towns.
- Fly-tipping87/10023.4 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Epping Forest council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Air pollution84/10010.7 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.6 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Serious road collisions76/1003.4 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Broadband75/10012.9% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 11.9% across the Epping Forest council area
- Criminal damage and arson46/1006.7 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Anti-social behaviour41/1009.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Food hygiene30/1001.3% rated 0 to 2, of the 80 food businesses with a rating
- Rain13/100115 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Sewage spills2/1000.0 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Deliberate fires2/1001.2 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 8 | Colchester | 55 |
| 9 | Wickford | 52 |
| 10 | Canvey Island | 51 |
| 11 | Harlow | 48 |
| 12 | Epping | 47 |
| 13 | Grays | 46 |
| 14 | Chigwell | 43 |
| 15 | Loughton | 41 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.16 | South Ockendon | 37 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Epping by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 76.7 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 76.2
- 7 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 6.5 per 10,000 people, 1.9x the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
- 4 pubs, 9 hairdressers, 4 charity shops, 1 bookmaker, 1 vape shop, 2 banks, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Worse: 9.4 per 100,000 people, 2.8x the typical town's 3.4
- 3 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 2.8 per 10,000 people, 1.8x the typical town's 1.6
- 2 public swimming pools open Better: 1.9 per 10,000 people, 2.7x the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.21pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.4% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 20% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 57.9% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 3.7x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,624 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 6% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Epping Forest council
- £2,277 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £115 less than the English average
- 10% of Essex County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 38% lower than England's 16%
- 5 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Epping against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.