Crap Towns / Essex / South Ockendon

Welcome to

South Ockendon

Saaf Ocky. There's a pub. And another pub.
Twinned with a Ford Capri on bricks

37/100Crap Score

619th crappest of 984 towns, and 16th in Essex. Higher scores are crapper.

How the score works

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Crap Town of the Year 2026/27

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The public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.

Letters from the locals

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Ockendump, the locals say

It made fast cars. Now it's a long walk to the station and nothing to do.

South Ockendon used to make fast Fords, and some of the streets are named after the cars. Now it's 5 pubs, a few basic shops and not much else, and the station's a long walk from most of town. Locals call it Saaf Ocky, Shockendon or Ockendump. Take your pick.

There's Belhus parkland for when the pubs get boring. The air spoils it, with 1.7 times the typical town's nitrogen dioxide. 1.8% of homes and businesses are stuck without superfast, more than three and a half times the typical town's share, so even the telly's struggling.

What the score is made of

Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.

South Ockendon's 95 for air pollution means it's crapper than 95% of towns.

  • Air pollution95/10014.0 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 8.2 of fine particles, 2024 average
  • Fly-tipping74/10015.9 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Thurrock council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
  • Food hygiene71/1004.7% rated 0 to 2, of the 64 food businesses with a rating
  • Deliberate fires55/1006.1 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
  • Criminal damage and arson35/1006.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
  • Serious road collisions33/1002.0 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
  • Anti-social behaviour32/1008.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
  • Broadband30/1004.6% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 7.2% across the Thurrock council area
  • Sewage spills6/1001.4 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
  • Rain2/100107 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
Your patch: EssexTowns in the same county. Top of the table is crappest.
PosTownNationalScore
12Epping518th47
13Grays531st46
14Chigwell561st43
15Loughton579th41
In danger of becoming nice from here down.16South Ockendon619th37
17Buckhurst Hill625th37
18Thundersley and South Benfleet665th32
19Billericay702nd29
20Witham709th28

Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.

South Ockendon by numbers

Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.

Crime, muck and dodgy water

What's left on the high street

Getting about, getting online, getting rained on

Thurrock council

Have a crap-off

South Ockendon against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.

South OckendonCrap Score 37
v
AveleyCrap Score 38

Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.